


Total Drama Boiling Isles

by PrincessKey



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon), Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Boscha Redemption (The Owl House), Cinnamon Roll Gus, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Drama, Eda is a Troll, F/F, F/M, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, Good Friend Willow Park, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lilith is trying her best, M/M, Oblivious Luz Noceda, Reality TV, Supportive Skara, Total Drama - Freeform, chris is chris, sooo much drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessKey/pseuds/PrincessKey
Summary: After six seasons and a hundred lawsuits later, Total Drama is officially outlawed in every part of Earth.So what does Chris do? He goes to another dimension, of course!May the Titan have mercy on their souls.
Relationships: Amity Blight & Boscha, Amity Blight & Edric Blight & Emira Blight, Amity Blight & Willow Park, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Boscha & Skara (The Owl House), Boscha & Willow Park, Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne, Emira Blight/Viney, Luz Noceda & Willow Park & Gus Porter
Comments: 33
Kudos: 67





	1. The Dramatic Return, Part 1

The Foot – one of the most untamed lands on the Boiling Isle, hundreds of miles from the safety of civilization (not that it was any safer.) The uncontrollable wilderness, the unsolved mysteries, and the constantly present dangers of the unseen beasts that lurked in shadows. One would have to be insane or suicidal to stay in a death trap like the Foot.

And that just screams ratings gold!

Situated on the toes, close to the shores of the ocean, was a small campsite that definitely had _not_ been put together in twenty-four hours with spare wood and bubblegum. And it totally _wasn’t_ infested with blood-sucking insects that had dragged away two interns in the dead of night. Yup, a totally normal – not deadly – campsite.

And who was running this campsite, you might ask? Only the most rugged, the most handsome, the most intelligent man in two dimensions and…I totally am not getting paid enough to write this.

“Psst, get to the good part already!”

Ugh…, Yes, you guessed it. The man, the myth, the legend: Chris McLean.

“Thank you, writer person that I totally paid to make this show,” said the devilishly handsome human, Chris McLean, popping up into view of the camera. “And we are coming at you live from the Boiling Isles in the Demon Realm. Yes, you heard right! The demon realm! An alternate universe straight out of your worst nightmares!”

The camera panned over the forest landscape, watching a harmless little butterfly land next to a cute little bunny…before the butterfly spewed acid all over the bunny, melting it to a puddle of goop, and started sucking on its juices.

“Classic,” Chris said, chuckling. “I’m sure our viewers are probably wonder, ‘Hey, Chris, how did you get into another dimension?’ Well….”

* * *

**_FLASHBACK_ **

Chris was in an unspecified research laboratory in a lab coat and safety goggles. He was talking to a _very annoying_ and fidgety scientist as they addressed the scientific portal gate that totally wasn’t stolen from a popular magic princess show on Netflix.

“But I keep telling you, sir, we should _not_ open this portal!” The scientist pleaded. “We have no idea what will happen if we do! It could collapse all of reality – “

“Blah, blah, blah!” said Chris in annoyance, making a hand gesture to mock him. “I don’t pay you to be a blabbermouth.”

“You don’t pay me at all,” the scientist remarked.

“Exactly!” said Chris chipperly. “Now fire up that bad boy and let’s get this show on the road!”

The scientist was reluctant, but obeyed nevertheless. He gulped loudly and pulled the activation lever. The portal made a loud whirling noise and electricity crashed in the center of the ring. An ethereal purple window opened inside the ring with a quiet boom.

For a few seconds, everything seemed to be all right – and reality was crashing down around them…. Then a large purple tentacle reached through the portal, grabbed the scientist, and pulled him through the other side. There was some screaming, the sound of crunching bones, and then silence….

“Eh, I’m sure he’s fine,” Chris shrugged nonchalantly.

* * *

“And there you have it!” Chris finished, unconcerned that he spoke so casually about someone’s death on live television. “And if you haven’t already guessed it, we’re here to host another season of the hottest reality show on television: Total Drama. Because they wouldn’t let me back in the human world,” He muttered the last part quietly.

“Here’s the deal,” Chris continued, walking across the campgrounds, miraculously avoiding the man-eating plants at his feet. “We’ve invited twenty kids from around the Boiling Isles to spend eight weeks at this death trap of a camp. And get this, they’re actually signed up willingly!” He laughed loudly. “What a bunch of chumps!

“You already know how the show works. Kids compete in challenge that will probably almost kill them, then have to face judgement from their fellow contestants. Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Trail of Shame,” He gestured to a dirt trail leading into the forest, “make their way to Loserville – hopefully in one piece – and leave Total Drama for good…. Or until we decide to bring them back for no reason.”

He arrives at what could only be described as a mass boneyard. Hundreds upon hundreds of bones of every size and shape were piled up together into a small theater of seats facing a bony podium with a bony campfire between them. There was something to be said about Chris by how nonchalantly her walked over the bones, crushing them under his expensive shoes.

“They’ll face judgement here, at the dramatic Boneyard Ceremonies,” Chris explained, “where all but one contestant will receive an immunity skull.” He picks up a one-eyed skull stamped with the **TDBI** logo on its forehead, then tossed it over his shoulder. “In the end, only one will be left standing, and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune of disgusting snails, which is apparently what they use for money here. Gross.

“To survive, they’ll have to face blood-sucking insects, ravenous monsters, and more importantly, each other.” He let out an evil chuckle at the thought. “Who will rise to the occasion? Who will crack under the pressure? And who is actually crazy enough to let me host another season?

“Find out right here, right now, on **TOTAL – DRAMA – BOILING ISLES**

* * *

* * *

After a toe-tapping opening song and a commercial break, Chris was back at the campgrounds with a huge, excitable grin on his face.

“Welcome back to Total Drama Boiling Isles,” Chris greeted with gleefully. “It’s time to get this show on the road and introduce our victims – I mean, contestants.” He glanced up toward the sky. “Ah, they come now.”

A flying barge appeared over the edge of the forest, hovering over campgrounds before settling in the water between the Titans toes. The gangplank was lowered and several bodies could be seen moving around, collecting their things or stopping to chat with someone they knew. The first to board the docks was stocky girl in glasses carrying a carnivorous plant under her arm along with her luggage.

“Willow, what’s up?” Chris greeted the witch.

“Um…a couple of clouds, some birds, and a couple of fire-breathing bat demons,” said Willow, looking up in the sky with a confused look.

“Hah! This is gonna be the best season yet,” Chris laughed, waving Willow away. Next off the barge was a witch with her brunette hair in a bun and a fishhook in one ear. She was pulling a leash leading a large griffin behind her. “Viney!”

“So you’re Chris, huh?” said Viney, looking the human host up and down. “You’re a lot shorter than I thought you’d be.”

“Uh…right,” said Chris, frowning.

“Hey, is it okay if I bring Puddles?” asked Viney, gesturing to the griffin that was digging its beak in the dirt. “He gets anxious when I’m away.”

“Does he attack people for no reason?” asked Chris with a quirked brow.

“Sometime?” Viney answered worriedly.

“Then he can stay!” Chris replied cheerfully.

“Sweet!” Viney smiled and let her griffin further into the campgrounds. Next to – unhappily – leave the barge was a young teenager with aquamarine hair pulled back into a ponytail with exposed brown roots.

“Hey, Amity,” Chris waved her down.

Amity took one look around the campgrounds and said grumpily, “You mean we’re staying _here_?”

“No, _you’re_ staying here,” said Chris brightly. “I’ve got a sweet pad with AC and killer wi-fi set up far away from this screaming death trap.”

“I did not sign up for this!” Amity complained, stomping her foot.

“Actually, you did,” Chris laughed wickedly, holding up a thick contract signed with Amity’s name in the young witch’s face. “You shoulda read the fine print.”

“Grr…stupid human jerk,” Amity grumbled, stomping around the smiling host. “Stupid camp. Stupid show. Stupid adorable Luz convincing me to sign up.”

While laughing at Amity’s displeasure, Chris returned his attention to the passenger barge as the next contestant came running down the gangplank with an excited squeal. What made this competitor so special was that she was the only human besides Chris on the entire Boiling Isles; a young Latina girl with a child-like twinkle in her eye.

But in her excitement, the human girl missed the gap between the gangplank and the dock, tripping over and sliding the rest of the way on her front. Chris actually winced sympathetically. But the human quickly picked herself up with a wide smile, ignoring her bloody nose.

“I’m okay!” she proclaimed happily, then turned to Chris enthusiastically. “Oh my Grom! Chris McLean! I am _such_ a huge fan! I’ve watched every season of Total Drama ten times!”

“Great…,” said Chris slowly, then he whispered quietly off to the side. “Get the tranquilizers ready.”

He looked back to the barge as the next contestant came walking down the plank. The untamed mane of thick disheveled hair made her look familiar to some of the viewers on the Boiling Isles watching through their crystal balls, but the bright-orange color threw them off.

“And this must be Edalyn,” said Chris, high-fiving the strangely youthful ex-criminal. “Great to have you here.”

“Believe me, the pleasure’s all mine,” said Eda, flashing her golden tooth with glee. “Say, hypothetically speaking, what would happen if someone – not me – were to release a bunch a razor-toothed flesh slugs in everyone’s bed at night?”

“Oh-ho, we are gonna get along fabulously,” said Chris.

“I can’t believe this is actually working,” Luz whispered to Eda, not realizing that the cameras and microphones were catching her every word. “I had no idea you could brew reverse aging potions, Eda.”

“How do you think I maintain my girlishly figure?” Eda replied with a wink.

“And here comes Lily,” Chris introduced, gesturing to the barge.

Eda grinned from ear-to-pointed-ear when she saw her sister march down the gangplank with a deep frown, her left eye twitching furiously. Like Eda, she taken a reverse aging potion (against her will!) and was back to having fluffy, strawberry-red hair and wearing thick round glasses. She slapped Eda’s shoulder, who snorted out loud.

“This isn’t funny, Edalyn!” Lilith snapped.

“You’re right, it’s not funny – it’s hilarious!” Eda guffawed.

“Why did I have to take part in this ridiculous gameshow?” Lilith grumbled, crossing her arms in a pout.

“To increase our chances of winning, duh!” said Eda, casually throwing an arm over her sister’s shoulder. “Besides, you owe. You know, for cursing me and ruining any chance I had for a good, honest life outside of being a criminal.”

Lilith grumbled under her breath, but kept her opinions to herself and allowed Eda to drag her away.

The camera panned over to the barge as the next contestant stepped off the gangplank. She stood out from the rest of the cast, who appeared more human-like with the exception of the ears, by having a third eye in the middle of her forehead. All three of them, narrowed in on Luz, Amity, and Willow, who glared right back at her.

“Boshca,” Chris waved at the tri-clops, who promptly ignored the human and joined the rest of the cast, her arms crossed in contempt.

“Amity. Human. Half-a-witch,” she said shortly.

“Boscha,” Amity replied with equal disdain.

“You’re getting all this, right?” Chris asked the cameraman, who nodded. The tv host stiffened when he felt heavy breathing down his neck and turned around, not realizing that the next contestant had already disembarked. Honestly, compared to the rest of the cast, he was rather plain with no real distinctive features. “Er…Jerbo, I presume?”

The teen – Jerbo, if Chris’s hunch was correct – looked around the area silently, giving no indication to what he was thinking. Then he walked over to join the rest of the cast without a word.

“Freak,” Chris muttered, then looked back to the barge as the next contestant stepped off. “And contestant number nine is Skara.”

Skara was dark-skinned with pinkish-gray hair tied into a fluffy ponytail and darker undercut. She cheerfully skipped over the docks and run up to Chris with the biggest smile.

“Hi, Chris, it’s nice to meet you,” said Skara brightly. “I’m so happy to be on the show.”

“Yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts!” Chris guffawed, earning a strange look from the teen.

Skara shrugged and joined the rest of the cast, standing beside Boscha. She gave a friendly wave to Luz’s group until Boscha gave her a triple glare and quickly put her hand down.

“All right, our next contestant is…,” Chris started dramatically as the next contestant made their way onto the docks…then realized that the ‘contestant’ was a dog-like creature with a human face wearing square glasses. “…. You’re kidding, right?”

“ **BARK, BARK!** ” the dog-person barked, making Chris jump.

“He says his name is Barcus,” Jerbo translated, earning surprised stares from the rest of the cast with the exception of Luz. “And he says he likes your shirt.”

“ _Riiiight_ ,” Chris murmured slowly as Barcus joined the other contestants. “They’ll let anyone on this show…. Anyway, our next contestant is Matt…Matt…er, Matt-something.”

“Mattholomule, you nitwit!” The next to leave the barge looked more like a gremlin, even if he was human-like in appearance.

“Aw, geez, who let this jerk join?” Luz complained, rubbing the brdge of her nose exasperatedly.

“Probably the same person whop let Boscha join,” Amity remarked.

“Is this where were staying?” Mattholomule complained, gesturing to the campsite. “It’s a dump.”

“I know, right?” Chris laughed. “Hate to be you guys.”

The little gremlin muttered furiously under his breath, dragging his feet to join the rest of the cast. He shot a quick leer at Luz, then childishly blew a raspberry at her. Luz retaliated in the same way with the added hand gestures. Mattholomule huffed and looked away, soon finding himself look at Boscha with (in his mind) a charming smile.

“Hey, there, hot stuff – “

“Touch me, and I’ll break every bone in your scrawny body,” Boscha threatened viciously; the gremlin reeled back, whimpering like a wounded puppy.

“Guess we know who’s getting voted off first,” Chris said to the camera. The next contestant stepped off the gangplank. He was younger than the rest of the contestants, and generally shorter, too. His eyes twinkled and he smiled widely (and creepily) at Chris. “Yo, Gus, what’s happening, lil man?”

“Oh my Titan, I can’t believe it; another human!” Gus squeed, launching himself at Crhis and wrapping himself around the human’s leg like a boa constrictor. “I have so many questions! Do humans really fly metal birds? How do you tame them? How’d you get your hair so perfectly styled. How did – “

“Dude, personal space!” yelped Chris, shaking his leg furiously attempting to throw him off.

“Sorry about him,” Luz chuckled awkwardly, stepping forward and grabbing her friend by the back of his tunic. “He just _really_ likes humans.” Chris did _not_ look amused. Luz let out another sheepish laugh. “Come on, Gus, let go of the nice man’s legg….”

“No, wait, I still have more questions!” Gus cried, but Luz successfully pried him loose and they both went flying into the growing pile of luggage on the end of the docks with a cartoonish crash.

“Yeesh, and I thought Sierra was clingy,” Chris muttered, brushing himself off. The next pair walked off the gangplank; a pair of twins with dark green-hair. They were similar in appearance with the only difference between their gender and the girl having longer hair than her brother. “Emira, Edric, welcome to your new home for the next eight weeks.”

“Hey, look, Ed, it’s a camp,” Emira grinned mischievously, nudging her twin. “Doesn’t that look exciting?”

“Sure does, Em,” said Edric with matching mirth. “And we get to spend the next eight weeks with our favorite Mittens.”

“Dear Titan, kill me now,” Amity groaned in her hands.

The Blight Twins grinned and quickly joined the group, placing themselves on either side of Amity, much to their younger sister’s annoyance. At that time, the next contestant walked off the barge; a plain-looking brunette witch with small traces of freckles. She gave a friendly waved to Skara, who eagerly waved back; Boscha didn’t berate her this time.

“Bo! Bo-Bo! Little Bo Peep!” Chris greeted in an oddly friendly manner.

“It’s so great to be here, Chris,” said Bo enthusiastically, giving the host a high-five. “I’m looking forward to spending the next eight weeks here.”

“Try to hold on to that excitement after the first challenge,” said Chris, chuckling while Bo joined the rest of the cast. “Next we have Eileen – _OH SWEET MERCIFUL JESUS!"_

The next contestant had just stepped off the gangplank. The cause for Chris’s alarming reaction came from the fact that Eileen’s entire head consisted of a single oversized eyeball with a mop of turquoise hair on top.

“You are the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in my entire life!” Chris didn’t hold back in his opinion, nor was he moved when Eileen ran past him, leaking gigantic globs of salty tears, and hid behind the rest of the cast.

“Do you have to be so mean?” Willow huffed, fists on her hips.

“Yes, yes, I do,” Chris answered proudly. “It’s why I get paid the big bucks, kiddies.”

“Nice,” said Boscha, smirking.

The next contestant to step off the barge was one of the few boys in the show, standing out from the rest with his gigantic bat-like ears and his eyes hidden behind his blonde bangs (if they existed at all)

“And here come Batthew,” Chris introduced the bat-like witch. “Wow, your parents clearly weren’t going for creativity when they named you, huh?”

“Yeah, totally,” Batthew agreed, laughing; Chris brow quirked in confusion.

“Dude, I just insulted you,” Chris explained.

“Yeah, I got totally burned,” Batthew once again agreed, still laughing.

“Just…,” Chris groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in disbelief and pointed to the cast. “Just go stand over there.”

Batthew shrugged nonchalantly and joined the rest of the contestants. Skara once again waved, but it was more flirtatious with an added giggle. Batthew smiled and waved back. Boscha made a gagging motion. Eda let out a loud “Hah!” at Chris’s failure to rile up the bat teen.

Chris took a deep breath to collect himself and moved on to greet the next contestant, a gangly witch with chopped green hair.

“Everyone, this is Amelia,” Chris introduced the newest cast member, shaking hands with her. “Welcome to Total Drama Boiling Isles, Amelia.”

“Thanks, Chris,” said Amelia politely. “This is great.”

“Just so you know, we only picked you because all the other applicants were boring,” Chris informed her.

“I can live with that,” Amelia shrugged and walked off to join the rest of the cast.

The next to join the cast was another interesting contender. Against the mostly human-like witches that made up the majority, the next girl had the head in the shape of a crescent moon with only one eye present and a yellow ribbon wrapped around it.

“Selene, so glad you could make it,” Chris greeted her.

“Hello, Chris,” said Selene with a polite wave. A frown crossed her expression when she saw the campgrounds with the dilapidated roofs and the…interesting smells from the outhouse. “Uh, are you sure this is the right place? It doesn’t look like it said in the brochure….”

“Yeah, it’s called false advertisement,” Chris laughed, pushing Selene to join the rest of the cast. He directed his attention to the last contestant to walk off the barge; a dark-skinned girl with wavy brunette hair and square glasses. “And last, but also least, Cat! Welcome to the show.”

Cat looked at the human host unblinking, pushing her glasses up her nose. Chris stared back at her, then glanced left and right awkwardly. After a few seconds of unbearably painful silence, Cat gave a loud sniff and walked around Chris to join the rest of the cast.

“A real chatterbox, that one,” Chris stage whispered to the camera before talking out loud to the contestants. “All right, now that everybody’s here, let’s get right to business. Drop your things off at the end of the dock and meet up by the boneyard in ten.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Lilith asked quickly.

“Oh yeah, we’re using a bunch of dead bodies as furniture and props,” Chris announced proudly, earning a lot of disturbed stares from the contestants. The human host cackled. “I know. It’s seriously _mess up_! Anyhoo, catch you in ten!”

* * *

The collective cast of twenty teens (two of which weren’t really teens) showed up to the boneyard that Chris pointed out few minutes later. Despite growing up in a horror-filled dimension like the Boiling Isles, some were a little disturbed that the bones of the dead were being used as chairs even more when they had to sit on them. Though some like Eda, Boscha, and the twins were unphased and took their seats without complaint. Chris joined them a few minutes after, taking his place behind the bony podium.

“Welcome to the Foot,” said Chris with exaggerated hand gestures. “Not the most creative name, but It’ll be your home for the next eight weeks. The people sitting around you will be your teammates, your competitors, and maybe even your friends….” He snorted and laughed out loud. “Nah, I’m totally joking. You’re gonna eat each other alive.”

“Good thing I always bring emergency spices,” Eda commented, pulling out said spices from her mangy mane.

“The contestant who manages to stay on Total Drama Boiling Isles the longest without getting voted off will win one hundred thousand snails. Which is still gross.” Chris explained.

“And where are we staying?” asked Lilith, raising her hand like the class pet. “You _are_ providing us with accommodations, right?”

“I’m legally obligated to, yes,” answered Chris.

“Yay! It’ll be like a big sleepover!” Luz cheered, pulling Willow, Gus, and Amity into a group hug. Amity looked like she was about to pass out.

“Ho-ho-hold on there, _chica_!” Chris interrupted, abruptly pulling Gus out of the friendship pile and dropping him uncaring on the ground next to him. “It’s not co-ed. Girls will be getting one side of the cabins for themselves and the boys will be getting the other side. Don’t want any parents calling me up in the middle of the night complaining…again.”

“Killjoy,” Eda grumbled.

“Oh…okay, we can still have fun, right, guys?” said Luz cheerfully, doubling the hug to make up for the lack of Gus.

“Sure, it’ll be great,” said Willow optimistically.

“Yeah – sleep – awesome!” Amity sputtered incoherently. “Can’t get enough of it!”

“Tch, we are _so_ not bunking with them,” Boscha grumbled; Skara smiled and pattered her hand sympathetically.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m talking here!” shouted Chris, calling attention to himself. “For those of you who haven’t see the show – which is basically everyone except Luz” The Latina smiled and gave a thumbs-up “Everyone is going to be split off into two teams. When I call your name, go stand over there.” He gestured to his right side, pulling a crumpled sheet of paper from his pocket. “Luz, Eda, Amity, Edric, Viney, little annoying gremlin – “

“Hey!” Mattholomule yelled indignantly.

“Bo, Eileen, Batthew and Cat,” Chris finished. He waited until the ten contestants named gathered up. He tossed a rolled-up cloth to Luz, who quickly unraveled it to reveal a badge of a vomiting slug. “From this moment on, you are offricially known as…the Puking Slugs.”

“…You’re kidding,” grumbled Amity.

“Aw, come on, it’s not that bad,” said Luz optimistically. “It’s actually one of the better names he’s ever come up with.”

“Thank?” Chris replied questionably.

“Wait, what about Em?!” Edric yelped fretfully. “We’re not on the same team!”

“I’m okay with this,” said Emira, inspecting her nails nonchalantly.

“The rest of you over here,” said Chris, gesturing to his left. “Lily, Willow, Gus, Boscha, Skara, Emira, Barcus, Jerbo, Amelia, and Selene.”

“Ouch. Willow and Gus are on the same team as Boscha,” Luz whispered to Amity, watching as their friends apprehensively joined the tri-clops and Skara on the other side. “Think they’re gonna be okay?”

“If there’s one thing Boshca hates more than us, it’s losing,” Amity whispered back. “She’ll cooperate with them until she doesn’t need them anymore.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Luz frowned.

“You think the twirp is bad, imagine being on the same team as Lily,” said Eda, gesturing to her grumping older sister standing on the end of the row.

“You kids will officially be known as…,” Chris tossed another cloth to Boscha as it unrolled to reveal a badge of a worm covered in…goop? “The Slimy Worms!”

“…I didn’t think there was a name worse than the Puking Slugs,” Boscha complained. Surprisingly, everyone on the team muttered in agreement, even Gus and Willow.

“All right, contestants, you and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition,” Chris informed them.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Chris:** You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape in the Confessional Outhouse. A little homage to season one of the greatest reality show on television (and because it’s cheaper than making a new confessional booth.) It’ll give you a chance to let the people at home know what you’re thinking. Or if you just wanna get something off your chest.

**_BZZT_ **

**Luz:** _¡Dios Mío!_ My first confessional! What do I say first?! Ooh, how about the time I –

**_BZZT_ **

**Boscha:** Bad enough I’m stuck in this crappy camp for eight weeks, but now I’m on the same team as the midget and half-a-witch Willow. Thank Titan I have Skara or I’d lose my mind.

**_BZZT_ **

**Eda** : (Facing the wrong direction) Where the hex is the camera?

* * *

“Any questions?” Chris asked, pausing for a moment. When no one responded, he continued. “Cool. Let’s take a quick tour around the camp before we send you on your first challenge.”

The two teams silently follow back towards the main campgrounds, though many (meaning Boscha and Willow) were reluctant to be walking in close proximity of their forced teammates (Edric, on the other hand, silently yearned for his twin, who pretended not to see him.) The groups approached a pair wooden cabins that looked like they violated several safety codes; one of the cabin doors fell off its hinges for no reason.

“These will be your cabins for the remainder of the show,” Chris informed. “Slugs, you get the east cabin. Worms, you’re in the west. And remember what I said – boys and girls are on different sides.”

“That means we get a whole room to ourselves!” Gus cheered, high-fiving Barcus and Jerbo, leaving the girls to grumble under their breath.

“Are you sure it’s safe to sleep in there?” asked Amelia, concerned.

“Nope!” Chris announced proudly, taking everyone aback. He flashed the show’s contract with a gleeful smile. “That’s why I had you sign a waiver saying that me and the network are in no way responsible for any sickness, injury, or death that you might sustain during the show. Fine print – gotta love it.”

“Is it too late to go home?” said Bo worriedly.

“ _Waaaay_ too late,” Chris chuckled. “You’re stuck here, kiddies.”

“Is there at least someplace where we can charge our scrolls?” asked Boscha, flashing the Boiling Isle’s version of a smartphone. “I have to keep up with my Penstagram.”

“There are some outlets in the communal showers,” said Chris, gesturing to the delapidated building south of the cabins. “But good luck getting a signal out here. The whole area is completely cut off from all communications. Just to make same sure contestants don’t get any outside help like a certain Type-A freak I use to know.” As if to prove his claims, Boscha’s scroll made a sad beeping noise, much to the tri-clop’s annoyance. “Now if you’ll all follow me to the main lodge….”

The human host leads them to the largest building on the campgrounds. Inside are two tables thaty looked like they had been taken out of the garbage, but were stable enough to eat off – cleanliness was another subject. Instead of chairs, they had crates, overturned trash bins, and whatever surface the production team could find. On the right side wasa counter that opened to the kitchen which…oh jeez, I can’t even write what’s in there. Seriously, what is wrong with these people?!

“Wow, and I thought this place couldn’t get any crappier,” Viney commented; Barcus barked in agreement.

“This is the main lodge,” Chris gestured widely like he was showing off something worth praising. “You’ll be eating here three times a day. If you don’t – well, have fun starving.”

“Ooh, ooh, is Chef here?! Can I meet him?! I’ve always wanted to meet Chef?!” Luz squealed, bouncing on her feet with uncontrollable excitement.

“No,” Chris answered shortly with a deep frown. “That jerk bailed and decided he was better off working at a daycare center.” He turned his head and crossed his arms. “But it’s cool. It’s fine. I don’t care. It’s not like I miss him or anything. I don’t miss the way he used to serve gnarly slop all the time. Or how he always complained about being underpaid.” His expression turned somber and pulled out a heart-shaped locket with Chef’s picture. “Or the way he always tortured the campers because it was funny…or all the times he crashed the plane and we’d laugh when someone got seriously messed up…or how he always remembered to cut the crusts off my sandwiches because he was a great guy like that….”

The human host sniffled; the contestants glanced at one another awkwardly.

“Do…you need a moment?” Selene asked slowly.

“Huh?” Chris perked up. Realizing the scene he was making, he quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve and stuffed the locket away. “No, no, it’s cool! I’m fine! Anyway, I found an _awesome_ replacement in the dumpster behind the place where you all audition.” He called to the kitchen. “Yo, King, get out here little buddy!”

A moment later, a little dog-like creature with a skull for a face jumped onto the counter, wielding a knife and fork like they were weapons of war.

“Bow before me, peasants!” King shouted. “You’re king has arrived!”

“King?!” Eda shouted in both shock and annoyance. “What the hex are you doing here?!”

“You thought you could get rid of me by auditioning for your human television program without me!” King yelled unnecessarily loud, jabbing his fork in Eda’s direction; the witch was unimpressed. “Well, the joke’s on you! Now _I_ am your master! You will all bend to my will – “

“Uh, no, they’ll bend to _my_ will,” Chris emphasis, poking the tiny demon’s head. “Your job is to serve disgusting slop at mealtimes and pretty much do whatever I say.”

“You are not the boss of me!” King yelled, stomping his feet; Luz squeed and made baby noises.

“I’m paying you in candy,” said Chris simply, pulling out an exaggeratedly large lollipop.

“You _are_ the boss of me!” King screeched, changing his tune quickly. The tiny demon snatched the lollipop out of Chris’s hand and started sucking on it furiously; Luz was having a cuteness overload.

“Well, I think that just about covers everything you need to know on your first day,” said Chris, an evil grin stretching across his lips. “Time to get to what everyone at home has been waiting for: your first challenge! And let me tell ya, it’s a _reaaal_ doozy,” he added with a wicked chuckle.

“What do you think they’ll make us do?” Amelia turned to Emira, shaking apprehensively.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Emira calmly, placing a gentle hand on the younger teen’s shoulder. “It’s only the first challenge. How hard could it be?”

* * *

Emira and the rest of the contestants suddenly found themselves out in the middle of the woods, eyes bulging and tightlipped as they confronted a massive, snarling, slobbering Slitherbeast chained to the mouth of a dark and creepy cave.

“…Oh **(*BEEP*)** ”

* * *

**Contestants remaining: 20**

**Puking Slugs** : Luz, Eda, Amity, Edric, Viney, Mattholomule, Bo, Eileen, Batthew, Cat  
**Slimy Worms:** Lilith, Willow, Gus, Boscha, Skara, Emira, Jerbo, Barcus, Amelia, Selene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if anyone has already done this. With a nightmare world like the Boiling Isles, I imagine Chris would thrive here and could torture kids without getting sued.
> 
> Anywho, if you have any ideas on challenge, please share them. I'd love to hear the many depraved ways you'd wanty to torture your favorite characters.


	2. The Dramatic Return, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time on Total Drama Boiling Isles: 
> 
> Twenty teens have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old campground, where they will face deadly challenges, disgusting camp food, and the judgement of their fellow contestants. Who will be the first to take a trip down the Trail of Shame?
> 
> Find out right now on Total – Drama – Boiling Isles!

If the contestants weren’t having doubts about Chris’s insane and (undoubtedly) deadly reality show, they were now. All twenty of them were standing a good distance away from the dark and creepy cave entrance in the middle of the Foot Forest, which was being guarded by a terrifying Slitherbeast. The yeti-like monsters sneered and snarled, snapping its razor-sharp teeth their way. The only thing keeping the beast from tearing them limb from limb was the metal collar and chain jabbed into the ground at the cave mouth.

“Okay, today’s challenge is pretty straight forward,” Chris announced nonchalantly like there was a giant monster only feet away from snapping his head off. “All you goota do is get past the ferocious, psychotic, man-eating Slitherbeast.”

“Oh, is that all?” said Emira sarcastically.

“Inside the cave are twenty Slitherbeast eggs,” Chris instructed. The camera pans past the yeti monster and zooms in on the pile of thick, two-foot tall, blue-spotted eggs lumped together into a single pile. “If you manage to make it past the Slitherbeast you must then grab as many eggs as you can carry and bring them back to your team’s crate.” He gestured to the two wooden boxes off to the side, each one branded with both team’s logos. “The challenge ends when all twenty eggs have been safely recovered from the cave. Which ever team has the most eggs collected at the end will earn an awesome reward. The losers will be sending someone down the Trail of Shame at tonight’s dramatic Boneyard Ceremony.”

“Uh, question?” asked Selene, raising her hand politely. “Will there be a penalty if we drop them?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Chris brushed off her concern. “Those things are _suuuuper_ durable. Trust me, we tested them.”

* * *

**_FLASHBACK_ **

Chris was in the main lodge, tapping his foot impatiently as he watched King essentially wrestle with a Slitherbeast egg in the chicken. And, somehow, the eggs managed to pin the tiny demon to the ground until he tapped out.

“Dude, what’s the hold up?!” Chris complained. “I asked you to make me a Canadian bacon and cheese omelet, like, an hour ago! I gotta meet the victims – mean, contestants – in twenty minutes!”

“Silence, puny mortal!” King shouted. “Do not doubt my superior egg-cooking skills!”

The tiny demon shoved the egg off him and grabbed a meat tenderizer off the counter. But when he nailed the egg with it, the hammer bounced off the egg’s surface and smacked King in the face instead. Muttering angrily, King grabbed a shovel from who knows where and smashed the egg repeatedly. The end result was the shovel head bending into a distorted shape. He tossed the shovel and pulled out a chainsaw next. Predictably, the chainsaw’s teeth shattered on contact.

Finally having enough, King whipped out a small pile of Luz’s fire glyphs and slapped them on every available surface of the egg. Chris watched the scene unblinking and wisely backed out of the main lodge before King touched one of the glyphs –

**_BOOOOOOM!!!!!!_ **

* * *

“Yeah, that happened,” said Chris, chuckling. “Seriously, there’s no way that place should still be standing.”

“Hey, don’t worry, guys, we’ve totally got this,” Luz reassured her team. “We fought a Slitherbeast on the knee once and we totally took care of it.”

“That was back when I could use my own magic,” Eda reminded her, glancing back at the snarling monster. “Now that you mention it, I think that might be the same Slitherbeast we saw on the knee.”

“How can you tell?” asked Luz.

At that moment, the Slitherbeast stopped its thrashing and glared at Luz and Eda. It pointed at the pair of them then made a slicing gesture across its throat, detailing its intent.

“…Just a hunch,” Eda commented.

“So, is everybody ready?” asked Chris. Everyone shook their heads simultaneously. “Whelp, too bad. Cause your first challenge starts now!”

Unsurprisingly, nobody made the first move toward the Slitherbeast; if anything, they seemed to step back a few feet. The Slitherbeast had noticeably calmed from the distance, but was pacing back and forth in front of the cave entrance, glaring at the contestants. Or more specifically, Luz and Eda. The human in question gestured her teammates closer and huddled up, whispering quietly among themselves.

“Okay, we need a plan,” Luz said seriously. “So the big question is…does anyone have a plan?”

“Well, I can’t put it to sleep like last time because, you know, no magic,” said Eda, waving her hands to emphasize her point.

“Can’t you tell it to calm down?” Amity turned to Viney. “You’re good with beasts, right?”

“There’s a huge difference between griffins and Slitherbeasts,” Viney pointed out.

“Why are you all so stupid?” said Mattholomule rudely, gesturing his thumb to Eileen. “Just throw the eyeball weirdo at it and grab the eggs while it’s chewing her up. It’ll probably think that gross eye of hers is a chew toy or something. It not like we'd lose anything impotant."

Eileen started to tear up, which prompted Bo to glare at Mattholomule before punching him in the face.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Bo:** I'm not usually one for violence, but that felt _sooo_ good.

_**BZZT** _

**Eileen:** (Makes muffled, unintelligible noises while dabbing her eye with a tissue)

* * *

“Okay, he definitely deserved that, but he did give me an idea,” Amity spoke up. “We can distract the Slitherbeast while we collect the eggs, only we won’t have to put ourselves in danger. We can just have Edric conjure up some illusions of us to occupy it.”

“Oh yeah!” Luz pounded her fist in her palm in an ‘Ah-ha!’ moment. “Your brother and sister are in the illusion track!”

“And as much as it pains me to say it, they’re geniuses at tricking people,” Amity admitted. “So, Edric, we need you to conjure up some illusions to distract the Slitherbeast…. Edric?”

Amity looked around the huddled group and realized her brother wasn’t taking part in the discussions. She stood up and spotted the male twin, pouty and teary-eyed at the Slimy Worms, who were also grouped up in a team huddle. Amity rolled her eyes, groaning exasperatedly, and dragged Edric back to the Puking Slugs by his sleeve.

“Ed, stop mooning over Em – it’s creepy, disturbing, and can be taken way out of context,” Amity complained.

“But we’ve never been apart before!” Edric cried. “We’ve always been together – the two of us against the world!” He sniffled pathetically. “I don’t know what to do without her!”

“Snap out of it, man!” yelled Viney, slapping the boy across the face for good measure. “We gotta focus! I’ll bet you right now they’re over there scheming how to sneak past the Slitherbeast right now.”

Meanwhile, with the Slimy Worms….

“So what do you guys think we should do for lunch after this?” Amelia asked her teammates.

“Ooh, we should order Taco Dragon!” Skara replied enthusiastically. “They have this new volcano chili burritos that literally burn your mouth so bad, your skin peels off!”

“Uh, hello, you forgetting something?” said Boscha, lightly smacking the back of Skara’s head. “Our scrolls are completely cut off from the rest of the isles. We only have enough signal to hext each other, so we’re not getting Taco Dragon, or Burger Queen, or Sin-A-Bun, or Pandemonium Express – “

“Aw, that’s too bad,” Emira sighed dramatically. “I love their Yoo-Hoo Die-Die-Die Pans.”

But while the rest of their teammates were talking over lunch, Lilith exchanged bewildered looks with Willow and Gus, who looked just as lost as she was. Then she said, “Uh, shouldn’t we be thinking about a way to get the eggs from the SLitherbeast before the other team gets them?”

“We already came up with a plan,” said Boscha simply.

“We did?” asked Willow, dumbfounded. “When?”

“I hexted it to everybody,” said Boscha, holding up her scroll.

“We didn’t get any hexts,” said Willow, frowning.

“That’s because you two can’t keep a secret, especially from your human friend,” Boscha retorted with a condescending tone, gestuiring to her and Gus. Then she pointed her thumb at Lilith. “And I don’t even know you.”

“Hey, I can keep a secret!” Gus complained loudly. “I never told anybody that Billy wears horn extensions! Or that Eileen wears fake eyelashes because they make her feel pretty! Or that Rocky goes to the bathroom in a jar because he’s scared of the school toilets – okay, I seed your point.”

“Well, don’t you think you should share the plan with the rest of us?” said Lilith.

“I don’t have to tell you losers anything,” said Boscha with a huff.

“But we’re on the same team!” said Willow, glaring.

“Well, I don’t need you three screwing up the plan we’ve already set up,” said Boscha. Willow opened her mouth to argue, but Boscha cut her off. “Look, we’re obviously never going to agree on anything. So how ‘bout we make a deal?”

“…I’m listening,” said Willow, interested.

“If we lose todays challenge, then you all can vote me off,” said Boscha confidently. “Heck, I’ll even vote for myself. Sound good enough for you?”

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**Willow:** I don’t like listening to Boscha. She’s mean, and she’s a bully. But the chance to get rid of her on the first day? Of course, I would say yes.

**_BZZT_ **

**Boscha:** Half-a-witch is probably talking smack about me, but I don’t care. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from playing grudgby, it’s that you have to play smarter, not harder.

* * *

Edric stepped away from his team, exhaling a miserable sigh, but nonetheless traced a magic circle in the air. From this, he created exact copies of the entire team and remotely controlled them into running for the Slitherbeast. The yeti-like monster perked and snarled as Fake Luz stuck out her tongue, blowing a raspberry with a little dance.

“Hey, ugly, betcha can’t catch me!” Fake Luz taunted.

The Slitherbeast roared furiously and leapt at the illusions – more specifically, at Luz’s copy. That beast can sure hold a grudge. The fake Puking Slugs pretended to scream and ran off to the side, avoiding the Slitherbeast as it stomped the ground. The monster let out a frustrated snort and turned to pursue them…never realizing that the real Puking Slugs were tiptoing behind its back, stealthily making their way to the cave entrance.

“Amity, you’re the smartest witch in all of the Boiling Isles!” Luz complimented quietly. “I love that big brain of yours!”

Amity’s face started out brick-red from Luz’s first compliment, but then exploded into a brilliant shade of tomato at the word “love.” The gay disaster formerly known as Amity Blight unknowingly laughed out like an awkward idiot, having no idea what to do with herself. Thankfully, Eda had the sense to slap her hand over the Blight girl’s mouth before the Slitherbeast overheard them. It was still distracted by Edric’s illusionary copies, which were standing just outside of the Slitherbeast’s reach, the collar around its neck restraining it.

The majority of the team walked inside the cave when Cat silently tapped on Bo’s shoulder to get her attention. The silent, bespectacled witch them thumbed over her shoulder at Mattholomule, who was standing near the crate next to Edric, who had stayed behind to maintain the illusions.

“What are you doing?!” Bo hissed at him. “Get over here and help us!”

“Oh, I would love to help but uh…,” Mattholomule said slowly, his eyes roaming around for an excuse when his gaze fell on their teams’ crate. “But someone has to guard the box, you know. Keep people from stealing our eggs.”

Bo shook her fist furiously, but Cat gently touched Bo’s shoulder and shook her head. The Healing Track girl let out a reluctant sigh, agreeing with her silent classmate, and walked into the cave with their teammates. They could punch the gremlin out later.

The team of eight stepped quietly across the cave up to the pile of Slitherbeast eggs; Viney and Batthew, being Beast Keeping Track students, stopped to admire them for a moment. Luz picked one up from the pile and nearly fell over when she realized how heavy they were.

“Holy cow!” Luz exclaimed, spreading out her legs to stabilize herself, her arms visibly trembling. “These things weight a ton!”

“Slitherbeasts are some of the largest creatures on the Boiling Eggs,” Viney informed them. “And their eggs are also some of the heaviest, too. They have thick shells to maintain their internal temperatures since they’re native to the colder climate on the Knee.”

“We don’t need a lecture, nerd,” said Eda, picking up one of the eggs for herself. “Everybody grab an eggs and lets get the hex out of here!”

Nobody argued with the former criminal, especially with the threat of a Slitherbeast looming over their heads. But because the eggs were so heavy, they could only carry one at a time. The eight teens groaned under the weight and slowly stomped their way out of the cave. Thankfully, Edric seemed to be doing a good job of keeping the Slitherbeast distracted with their illusionary copies, who seemed to be performing a series of acrobatic stunts that Luz would never pull off in her lifetime.

Luz let out a sigh of relief as she dumped her egg into the team’s crate, joined shortly by the rest of the Puking Slugs.

“That…was stressful,” Viney commented, dropping her egg off with the rest.

“Well, we’re not outta the woods yet,” said Eda, taking a moment to count their collection. “We still got twelve more eggs to go back before we can call it quits. We should get back in there before Lily’s team snatches them all up.”

Eileen started saying something, but since she had no visible mouth, it came out all muffled. When no one seemed to understand her, she pointed in the direction of the Slimy Worms.

Luz’s team were understandably bewildered by how…calm the opponents were. Almost everyone was lounging around and playing with their scrolls, hexting each other even though they were literally only feet apart. Even Jerbo and Barcus, who really weren’t the social media time, were playing co-op games on their scrolls. The only people who looked out of place were Lilith, Willow, and Gus – all three of them just standing around with no idea about what they should be doing.

“They’re just…sitting there,” commented Viney strangely. “Doing nothing.”

“It’s got to be Boscha,” said Amity, leering that the Slimy Worms suspiciously. “She’s up to something. I can tell.”

“What do you think it is?” asked Luz, concerned.

“Who cares,” said Mattholomule, brushing them off. “We’re already winning. Let’s just grab the rest of eggs and cream them already.”

“Excuse me, what exactly have _you_ been doing?” questioned Bo, glaring at him along with the rest of their team. Surprisingly, Batthew was the one to intervene the well-deserved beatdown.

“Dudes, let’s not fight amongst ourselves,” he said calmly. “We’re a team – we’re all in this together.”

“Not all of us,” commented Bo; Eileen and Cat mutely nodded behind her.

“Hey, I wanna punch the gremlin’s teeth out as much as the next witch,” said Eda, ignoring Mattholomule’s protests to being called a gremlin, “bat-face is right. We should be focusing on getting the rest of those eggs before Lily’s team tries to one-up us.”

“On that, we can agree on,” Amity nodded. She turned back to her older brother, who was sitting on a rock nearby, propping his head up with one hand and waving his finger with the other, sighing sadly. “Edric, can you keep the Slitherbeast distracted a little while longer.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Edric mumbled gloomily.

“That’s the spirit, kiddo!” said Eda perkily, sprinting back to the cave. “Last one there is a rotten Slitherbeast egg!”

The rest of the Puking Slugs scrambled after the rowdy former criminal with the exception of Mattholomule, who once again refused to offer any assistance.

Meanwhile, Lily frowned as she watched the Puking Slugs slink back into the Slitherbeast’s cave. The yeti monster was still trying to claw the fake contestants that were bouncing just out of its reach, unaware that the real ones were making off with its eggs. Growing impatient, Lilith stomped up to Boscha, who pretended not to notice the de-aged former coven leader and had all three eyes glued to her scroll.

“Why is everyone just sitting around?” Lilith complained. “Edalyn’s team is winning your you’re all playing with your scrolls. At least act a little concerned.”

“I told you already, we have a plan,” said Boscha, annoyed.

“Are you going to _share_ this plan at any point?” questioned Lilith.

“Nope,” Boscha answered plainly. “Can’t have you screwing everything up for the rest of us.”

Lilith stomped her foot, growling irritably, then rounded to the rest of her teammates.

“Are you seriously going to just sit there and do nothing?!” she shouted.

“Pretty much,” Amelia replied, never looking up from her scroll.

“Boscha has a really good plan,” Skara added.

“I have no problem with it,” said Emira.

“ **Bark, Bark, Bark!** ” Barcus yapped with approval.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Lilith:** I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that I’m taking orders from a child three times younger than me, or that everyone else is obeying her. Ugh, I wish Edalyn was that easy to control. Maybe then I wouldn’t be on this idiotic show.

* * *

The Puking Slugs were coming out of the cave with another cluster of eight eggs while the Slitherbeast remained unaware of their deception. Lilith faced Boscha again, slapping the scroll out of the triclops’ hands. All three eyes narrowed on the de-aged witch.

“What’s your deal, new girl?” spat Boscha.

“My ‘deal’ is that Edalyn’s team is halfway done with the challenge and none of you are making an effort to beat them! We’re going to lose and it’ll be all your fault!”

“Whoa, chill out there, glasses,” said Emira soothingly, trying to keep the argument from escalating. “If it’ll make you feel better….” She turned to the left, cupped her hands around her mouth, and yelled, “Hey, Ed, nice work out there! You’re awesome!”

Edric perked up at his twin’s compliment like an excited puppy, turning her way with a gleeful smile…. Unfortunately, that meant he could no longer concentrate on maintaining his illusion and the fake Puking Slugs vanished with a series of popping noise. The Slitherbeast searched the area, making confused noises, then turned around as the real Puking Slugs were halfway to their crate. The group of eight froze in place when they realized the yeti monster had its eyes on them, snarling louder than it had ever done. It was seriously pissed now.

The Slitherbeast howled and jumped at the teens. Amity dropped her egg without hesitation and weaved a magic circle in the air.

“Abomination, rise!” Amity commanded.

A golem of purple goop sprang out of the ground between them and the Slitherbeast, tanking the monster’s attack. Amity’s abominations had gotten stronger since Grom, but the Slitherbeast still had it beat in terms of height and strength.

The yeti-like creature was starting to push the sludge golem back when several thick vines shot out of the ground, wrapping around the Slitherbeast’s legs and torso like boa constrictors. Amity blinked before looking around. She found Luz kneel on the ground behind her; one of the glyph papers glowing on the grass.

“Run for it!” Luz shrieked.

They didn’t need to be told twice. Amity picked up her egg and the Puking Slugs shuffled back to their crate as fast as their legs could carry them. They all let out relieved sighs when they deposited their eggs, just in time to watch the Slitherbeast rip itself free from Luz’s vines and crush Amity’s abomination under its foot. The Slitherbeast exposed its teeth, but did not try to attack them, knowing they were out of its reach.

Knowing the danger was passed, Amity stomped up to her brother and shouted, “Ed, what the hex! We could’ve died back there! What happened?!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Edric apologized profusely. “Em distracted me and – “

“Oh, for the love of Titan,” Amity groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“I don’t think it’s gonna fall for the same trick twice, dudes,” said Batthew, gesturing to the Slitherbeast that was pacing back and forth in front of the cave. “It looks pretty t-ed off.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t go back,” Bo suggested. “We’ve already got sixteen eggs. That’s more than the majority. We’ve already won, so no point in putting ourselves in danger again.”

Eileen made more muffled sounds and pointed to the Slimy Worms, who were still just sitting around, hexting to each other.

“Eileen is right,” said Viney, somehow able to understand the cyclops. “The game won’t end until all twenty eggs are collected, and those guys are going to move any time soon. We could be standing here all night waiting for them. It would be better if we just got the last four eggs and end the challenge in a complete landslide.”

“I like the sound of that,” said Eda, grinning. “It’d be nice to rub it in Lily’s face. But how’re we gonna get past the Slitherbeast.”

“We’ll fight it, of course!” Luz said confidently, earning a lot of bewildered stares. “Come on, guys, there’s ten of us – “

“Nine,” Mattholomule interrupted. “I’m not sticking my neck out.”

“…Okay, nine of us,” Luz corrected begrudgingly, “and only one of them. We got witches from several tracks on this team. If we all combined our powers, we could totally take that Slitherbeast! …And if you don’t help, you’ll have to stay hre with him,” she added, jabbing her thumb in Mattholomule’s direction.

“Hey!” the gremlin complained.

That seemed to convince them, Luz noticed. Apparently, everyone would rather face a deadly, man-eating Slitherbeast that spend a few minutes with Mattholomule.

Everyone summoned their respective magics while Luz and Eda whipped out their glyph papers, charging at the Slitherbeast with raging battle cries. This would surely be the most epic battle in the history of the Boiling Isles….

Meanwhile, over with the Slimy Worms, Lilith watched her sister and her teammates charge into battle with the Slitherbeast, then rounded off to Boscha again.

“They’re going to get the last of the eggs!” Lilith snapped impatiently. “Could you do something now?!”

“Hmm…,” Boscha hummed, looking up from her scroll for a moment. “Yeah, I guess it’s about time. Skara!”

The darker witch perked up when her name was called and happily skipped to Boscha’s side. Together, the two of them casually walked towards the Puking Slug’s crate, leaving Lilith, Willow, and Gus to watch curiously. Mattholomule was leaning against his team’s crate, toally uncaring that his teammates were fighting for their lives, when he heard Boscha and Skara’s footsteps. The little gremlin looked around and put on his most charming (?) smile for the ladies.

“I knew you’d come crawling back,” said Mattholomule condescendingly, sweeping back his hair. “The ladies just can’t get enough of me.”

Boscha scoffed, rolling her three eyes. Then, without warning, she stepped forward and swung her foot between the gremlin’s legs. Chris, Gus, Jerbo, Barcus, and every male viewer on the Boiling Isles winced and hissed inwardly. Mattholomule’s voice shot up several octaves, closing his legs and holding himself as he collapsed face first on the ground. Boscha was unsympathetic as she started searching through the gremlins pockets until she pulled out a stack of patches with crude fists drawn on them.

“Knew the idiot would have some on him,” said Boscha, smirking. “Skara, catch.”

She tossed one of the patches to her best friend. Together, they slapped the patches on the back of their hands, letting the magic flow into their bodies. Boscha and Skara grabbed either side of the Puking Slug’s crate and lifted it off the ground despite the combined weight of the eggs. They casually carried it over to their own team’s crate and started dumping the eggs inside.

“What are you doing?!” Willow gasped.

“Winning, obviously,” said Boscha nonchalantly.

“But you can’t steal their eggs!” Willow argued. “That’s cheating!”

“Are you sure about that?” Boscha retorted smugly.

Willow was about to say something when the last of the eggs were dumped into the Slimy Worm’s crate. Boscha and Skara nonchalantly tossed the Puking Slug’s crate back to its original position next to the still collapsed Mattholomule. And just in time, too.

The Puking Slugs were limping back to their crate, battered, bruised, and full of cuts, but were victorious in obtaining the remaining four eggs.

“That was the single greatest battle in the history of ever,” said Luz, panting and nursing a black eye. She dropped her egg inside the crate with the other three. “I feel sorry for anybody that missed it…. Hey, where’re the other eggs?” she asked, suddenly realizing the crate was nearly empty.

Chris then reappeared from wherever he was hiding and declared, “Game over, everybody! The winners are…the Slimy Worms!”

The majority of the Slimy Worms cheered, several of them patting Boscha and Skara on the back. Willow looked uncertain about their victory, Lilith crossed her arms with a scowl, and Gus was swept up in the celebration that he didn’t care.

As you can expect, the Puking Slugs were not thrilled by this news.

“What?! No way! They cheated!” Amity roared.

“We didn’t cheat,” said Boscha calmly.

“Yes, you did!” yelled Luz. “You stole those eggs that _we_ worked so hard to get! You cheated!”

“Chris said the challenge was to get as many eggs as we can,” Boscha stated nonchalantly. “He never said we couldn’t take them from the other team.”

“Ooh, she’s got you there,” said Chris, cackling. Luz and Amity were rendered speechless.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Amity:** That was the dirtiest, sneakiest, most underhanded trick Boscha has ever pulled…. I’m impressed, not gonna lie.

**_BZZT_ **

**Amelia:** Everyone always stereotypes Boscha was the popular mean girl, they forget she’s in the top twenty of the academic rankings, right up there with Amity.

**_BZZT_ **

**Eda:** That was cleaver. I can’t even be mad about it.

**_BZZT_ **

**Luz:** _¡Estoy tan enojada!_

* * *

“Slimy Worms, you kids are safe from elimination,” Chris announced. “And as a reward, you get to keep the Slitherbeast eggs to do whatever you want with them. Whether to eat them, raise them, or do whatever.”

“Slitherbeast eggs are one of the most delicious foods on the entire Boiling Isles!” Selene exclaimed gleefully. “We could make omelets, and custards, and tarts!”

“Oh my,” said Amelia.

“I personally like the idea of having my own pet Slitherbeast,” said Boscha, caressing one of the eggs.

“Yeah, well, good luck cracking them open,” Chris laughed deviously. With a blank stare, Lilith picked up one of the eggs, tapped it twice against a rock, and causally pulled the top off. “…I would be so mad right now if I wasn’t going to torture you kids later.

“Puking Slugs, what can I say,” he continued, rounding to the losing team. “You guys put in a good effort, but you got outsmarted in the end. I’ll see your butts at the Boneyard Ceremony tonight.”

“I just don’t get it,” said Bo when Chris walked away. “How did Boscha’s team move all those eggs so fast? Even if all of them worked together, we would’ve made it back in time to catch them. How did they do it?”

Cat tapped on the Healing Track girl’s shoulder, then pointed at the Slimy Worms with a wide, shocked expression. The Puking Slugs watched as Boscha and Skara lifted their crate of eggs like it weighed nothing, carrying them away while their teammates cheered around them. Before they left, however, Boscha stopped by Mattholomule as he started picking himself up off the ground.

“Hey, loser, thanks for the power glyphs,” said Boscha with wicked glee, flashing the patch on her hand before walking away.

Mattholomule suddenly felt killer intent flowing in waves behind him. He turned around, leaning back as the rest of the Puking Slugs glared at him furiously.

“You had power glyphs on you, and you didn’t share them?!” Eda snapped.

“We could’ve gotten all of the eggs out in one trip with those!” yelled Amity. “Why didn’t you tell us?!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you didn’t ask,” Mattholomule socffedc, crossing his arms defiantely.

…And Bo gave him a well-deserved punch in the face.

* * *

Night fell over the Foot and the defeated Puking Slugs sat in their seats made of bones, the bonfire in front of them lit with blue flames (which was really awesome, if Chris said so himself.) Predictably, the majority of the group was glaring at Mattholomule, who was holding an ice pack over his black eye.

After a few moments of dramatic pause, Chris approached the podium carrying a tray of skulls marked with the **TDBI** logo.

“Puking Slugs,” he started dramatically. “In many cultures, the skull represents death. But today, it represents life. You’ve all cast your votes and made your decision. There are only nine skulls on this tray. When I call your name, come and claim your immunity skull. The contestant who doesn’t receive a skull must immediately walk the Trail of Shame to Loserville, population: one. That means you're out of the contest and you can't come back... Ever. This first skull goes to…Luz.”

“ _Gracias a Dios_ ,” Luz muttered to herself, smiling, and walked up to collect her skull.

“Next is…Amity.”

Amity breathed a sigh of relief and joined Luz, blushing from their close proximity.

“Eda…”

“Darn right I’m staying!” the former criminal exclaimed.

“Viney. Bo. Eileen. Batthew. Cat.” Chris listed off the contestants one by one until there were eight teens standing beside him holding their immunities skulls. This left Edric and Mattholomule as the only two left in their chairs. “Contestants, there’s only one immunity skull left.

“Ed, your distraction nearly cost your teammates their lives.” Edric looked downcast, twiddling his thumbs sadly.

“Gremlin, you were rude, unhelpful, lost your teams eggs, and are an overall pain in the keister.” Mattholomule glared with his one good eye.

“The last skull of the evening goes to…,” Chris paused for dramatic tension. Edric and Mattholomule leaned forward in their chairs apprehensively as the human host raised his hand in the air…and pointed it at Edric. “Ed. You live to compete another day.”

Edric released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, holding up giddily to accept his immunity skull and taking his place with the other puking Slugs. Amity gave him a reassuring pat on the arm.

“What?! No! That’s totally unfair! I demand a recount!” Mattholomule screamed, jumping up and stomping like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“Dude, everyone voted for you,” said Chris coolly. “Can’t say I’m shocked. You’re the biggest jerk I’ve ever met – and coming from me, that’s saying something. The Trail of Shame awaits, little dude.”

“I’m not going anywhere, you hear me!” Mattholomule shouted. “I demand justice! I’ll take this to the highest courts! I’ll take it to the emperor himself! I’ll – “

And then, suddenly and for no logical reason, the Slitherbeast landed in the boneyard, slobbering and snarling. It picked up Matthlolmule and then ran back into the forest. Everyone stood stock still, shellshocked by the outrageous scene they just witnessed, as Mattholomule’s screams faded into the night.

“…Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy,” said Chris, laughing. “Puking Slugs, you’re safe for tonight. Enjoy it. You never know when it’ll be your last.”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Emira:** As sad as I would’ve been to see Ed get voted off, he needs to learn how to be on his own. He’s way too dependent on me and I’m worried that could hurt him down the road. I think being on separate teams will be good for him.

**_BZZT_ **

**Lilith:** That Boscha girl is rude, but clever. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about her. She obviously knows how to play the game, both physically and socially. I should try to stay on her good side…for now.

**_BZZT_ **

**Amity:** Mattholomule was useless, but that doesn’t change the fact that we lost the first challenge. Boscha is smart and is a natural leader. Lilith was the head of the Emperor’s Coven. And Willow is one of the toughest witches I’ve ever met. We have our work cut out for us, but I have no intention of losing – to anyone.”

* * *

While the Puking Slugs slunk back to their cabin in defeat and the Slimy Worms celebrated with an egg party in the main lodge, Chris returned to the docks and addressed the viewers.

“One down, eighteen to go,” he said with a wide grin. “Who will be the next – or should I say, first – to walk down the Trail of Shame? And who will survive to win the seriously gross one hundred thousand snail prize? Find out next time on **Total – Drama – Boiling Isles!** ”

* * *

**Contestants remaining: 19**

**Puking Slugs** : Luz, Eda, Amity, Edric, Viney, ~~Mattholomule~~ , Bo, Eileen, Batthew, Cat  
 **Slimy Worms:** Lilith, Willow, Gus, Boscha, Skara, Emira, Jerbo, Barcus, Amelia, Selene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally intended for this chapter to be longer, but I ran out of steam halfway. I figured this would be a good stopping point and I promise the future chapters will be much longer.
> 
> And is anyone surprised that the gremlin got voted off first? If I'm being honest, getting rid of him was seventy percent of the reason why I chose to make the Slugs lose this round. (The remaining thirty was to show off Boscha as one of the more competent, but underhanded players of the season.)
> 
> And keep sending more challenge ideas you want to see.


	3. Too Hot to Handle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time on Total Drama Boiling Isles:
> 
> Twenty teens arrived and learned that they’ll be spending the next eight weeks at a crusty old camp. The campers were faced with their first challenge: Capturing eggs from a psychotic Slitherbeast. The Puking Slugs put up a good fight and snatched most of the eggs, but it was Boscha’s clever tactics and manipulation of the rules that earned the Slimy Worms the win. Seriously, this chick could give Heather a run for her money. 
> 
> In the end, the first contestant voted off Total Drama Boilings Islands was Mattholomule, who pretty much ticked everybody off for being an annoying, rude and unhelpful little gremlin. I mean, come on, we all knew this was gonna happen.
> 
> Who will be voted off this week in the most dramatic boneyard ceremony yet? Find out tonight on Total – Drama – Boiling Isles!

It was early in the morning – the sun had barely started to peek over the mountainous Knee. Inside their cabins, the remaining nineteen contestants slept peacefully in their beds.

Most in the Slimy Worms cabin donned earmuffs to block out Skara’s surprisingly loud snores. Willow’s man-eating plants slithered out of her bunk and gnawed at Selene’s feet, which made the moon girl giggling in her slumber. Boscha had her arms and legs wrapped around her Slitherbeast egg like a body pillow. And over on the boy’s side, Barcus yipped and scratched himself in his sleep, kicking his flees over into Gus’s bunk.

Meanwhile, over in the Puking Slug’s cabin, Eda had made a nest out of branches she found out in the woods and other junk she had stolen from the other contestants. After the owl lady (teen?) scratched Eileen for try to take back her music scroll, it became an unspoken rule to stay away from Eda’s nest. Amity barely slept a wink, knowing that Luz was sleeping in the top bunk above her; the witches dreams were plagued with super gay thoughts centered around a certain human.

Yes, this morning was starting out rather peaceful…and we can’t have that, now can we?

Chris hummed delightedly as he approached the contestant’s cabins, whipping out a megaphone, taking a deep breath…. Then he ripped out one of Puddles the Griffin’s feathers. The feathery beast let out an ear-piercing shriek that shattered the windows of both cabin and shocked more than several of the contestants out of their beds. Viney immediately shot up when she heard Puddles’ screech, inadvertently banging her head on one of the bed posts.

“Son of a werewolf!” Viney howled, holding her reddening forehead. “What the hex?!”

Eda rose from her nest with noticeable bags under her eyes and stomped to the cabin door. She kicked it open and spotted Chris waving cheerfully from the side.

“If our every move wasn’t being televised, I’d kill you in the slowest and most painful way imaginable,” Eda threatened.

“Good morning to you, Eda,” Chris greeted her brightly. “Better get changed quick. We’re gonna have a busy morning.”

* * *

Five minutes later, the campers were standing outside their cabins. Most of them were trying to fight off the urge to sleep again and others like Bo had given up the fight and were leaning against their teammates, snoring out loud. Boscha unknowingly carried her Slitherbeast egg, her brain still trying to wake up and was unbothered by the added weight.

“Good morning, sleep deprived teens!” said Chris chipperly, to the added annoyance of the contestants. “Hope you slept well.”

“This is torture,” Lilith grumbled. “You’re torturing us, right? Making us wake up at this untitanly hour?”

“Oh, trust me, I haven’t even started,” said Chris, smiling gleefully. “I hope you are all ready, because your next challenge begins in exactly one minute.”

“Wait, hold up, dude,” said Batthew. “Ain’t we gonna have breakfast first?”

“Oh, you’ll get a chance to eat, my batty-faced friend,” said Chris, chuckling under his breath. “Right after you run a three-mile lap around the Foot and back to the main lodge.”

“Oh, come on!”

“Screw you, McLean!”

“I will curse you in your sleep!”

“Oh, it gets worse,” said Chris giddily. “You’re also not allowed to use your magic for this part of the challenge. That means no magic plants or goopy monster things to carry you, no ice slides, and no griffins.” He looked pointedly at Viney, who stepped down from Puddles’ back; the griffin looked downcast. “You have to run the foot…on foot.” He snorts at his own joke. “And just to give you some extra incentive, the first team to get all their players to the main lodge first shall win a reward before the next part of the challenge.”

“Well, at least we get something out of it,” said Luz, trying to sound optimistic.

“Let’s see if you’re still saying that after your skinny nerd legs fall off,” Eda grumbled. Luz hanged her head, pouting.

“Hey, we’ve got this,” Amity said encouragingly, resting a gentle hand on this human’s shoulder. “Remember what you said: we can do this together.”

“Yeah…you’re right, Amity,” Luz quickly perked up. She took the mint-haired witch’s hand in her own, completely oblivious to the girl’s face turning bright red. “We can do this together! I’m so happy we ended up on the same team.”

“Y-Yeah, me – me too,” Amity sputtered with an awkward giggle.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Amity:** Get yourself together, Blight! So what if you’re spending the next eight weeks together on the same team, sleeping in the same cabin, and spending every waking moment together in close proximity. That doesn’t change anything, right?........Why does that sound familiar?”

* * *

All of the contestants were lined and in varying starting positions, Chris standing on the sidelines with his megaphone ready.

“Okay, runners!” shouted Chris. “On your marks…get set… **GO!** ”

At the ‘Go’, Chris whipped out an airhorn from behind his back and blasted it into the megaphone, creating an unnecessarily loud screech that caused many contests to double over, covering their ears. Those who were prepared for it like Luz, Eda, Lilith, and Boscha took off running, forcing the others to dash in their wake.

* * *

The first mile of the race was largely uneventful, so it was cut out of the final editing.

The contestants were scattered throughout the designated course, most of them having lost steam after sprinting right out of the gate. Eda and Lilith maintained the lead, vying for the first-place spot. Eda tried to trip her sister. But the bespectacled witch casually jumped over the extended limb. Lilith shoulder tackled her younger sister sideways into a fallen log, but owl teen skipped over and resumed her place at Lilith’s side. Both of them were sweating profusely, their unmanageable hair clinging to their faces, and their ankles throbbing. But neither of them was willing to concede to the other.

“Getting…tired…Lily?” Eda wheezed, holding a stitch in her side.

“Not…at…all…,” Lilith puffed, inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth. “How…about…you? Surely…you must…be getting… tired…in your…old age.”

“We both…took the…young potion…Lily,” Eda pointed out. “And even…if I didn’t…I’d still…beat you...by a mile.”

“Then put…your snails…where your mouthy is,” Lilith challenged.

The Clawthorne sisters decidedly sped up, leaving the rest of the contestants in their dust.

Behind them was a small group made up of Luz, Amity, Willow, Viney, Cat, Skara, Amelia, Selene, Barcus, and Boscha. It was no surprise that Boscha and her followers were able to keep up considering most of them were on the Grudgby team and Amity _was_ the former team captain. Luz was happy that she was able to match their pace with her “weak nerd legs” as Eda pointed out. Though the human witch was bewildered and somewhat impressed that Boscha was still holding on to her Slitherbeast egg and still maintaining her current pace. She remembered how heavy they were in the last challenge and it had to take a lot of physical conditioning to hold it for this long.

Amelia slowed down to match Boscha’s speed and said, “That egg is slowing you down. You should toss it and – “

“Flip off!” Boscha snapped, gnashing her teeth in emphasis. Amelia yipped like a frightened puppy. “No way I’m tossing Chewy!”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Viney:** Chewy? Huh, never thought I’d hear something like that from a bully like Boscha. (Chuckles) Kinda funny when you think about it.

**_BZZT_ **

**Luz:** I know Boscha’s a jerk, but that’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard!

**_BZZT_ **

**Skara:** Boscha can be rough around the edges, but she has a soft side…somewhere.

**_BZZT_ **

**Boscha:** (Rubs egg while making baby noises) Don’t listen to those mean old witches. Mommy would never toss her Chewy. No, she wouldn’t. No, she – (Pauses and realizes that she’s still being recorded.) They’re gonna edit this out, right?

* * *

Amity was keeping a steady breathing pattern, focusing solely on the pathway in front of her. But in a moment of weakness, she glanced sideways in Luz’s direction. The human witch was practically drowning in her own sweat, making weird breathing noises. And yet, Amity still thought she was the most attractive being on the entire Boiling Isles. Amity swooned silently…and failed to notice the exposed tree root in her way.

The mint-haired witch got caught by the ankle and plummeted to the ground with an undignified yelp. Viney, Boscha, and her flunkies kept on running, but Luz and Willow doubled back and kneeled beside their friend, who was holding her foot with a pained wince.

“Amity, are you all right?” asked Willow, concerned.

“Gah! I think I twisted my ankle,” Amity grimaced.

“Do you need to see a healer?” said Willow.

“No, I should be fine in a bit,” Amity rejected, hissing when she put pressure on her foot. “You two should go on without me. I’ll only end up slowing you down.”

“Uh-uh, we leave no witch behind! Scoooop!” Luz bends down and casually lifts Amity into her arms bridal style. The Mint-haired witch went stiff in her arms, her face turning redder than it should be. “Just relax and leave it to your fearless champion!”

“Oh – wow,” Amity managed to sputtered out; her brain had officially short-circuited. Willow watched the exchanged and laughed behind her hand.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Willow:** A part of me wants to push Luz into realizing that Amity has feelings for her and wants them to be happy. A bigger part of me wants to keep watching Amity act like a moron around her…. Don’t judge me.

* * *

The rest of the cast consisting of Gus, the Blight Twins, Bo, Eileen, and Batthew were roughly half a mile behind their teammates, choosing to walk the trails at a leisurely pace instead of exhausting themselves. But even without running, the group still found themselves sweating profusely from the intense summer sun glaring down on them, combined with the Boiling Isle’s natural humidity and the lack of any cross breeze.

Eileen was having a rougher time than most with her giant eyeball becoming dry and irritated. She started drawing a circle when Batthew caught her hand.

“Nope, can’t do that, dude,” Batthew reminded them. “Chris said we’re not allowed to use magic.”

“……” was Eileen’s muffled reply.

“True, but I don’t think we should be taking any chances, you know,” said Batthew.

“He’s right,” Bo huffed, using her sleeve to wipe the sweat from her brow. “Don’t want to take any chances on getting eliminated and costing our team the win.”

“…..” Eileen moaned sadly; Bo patted her back sympathetically.

A little further ahead of her younger schoolmates, Emira was _trying_ to enjoy her casual stroll through the forest. Emphasis on trying.

Unfortunately, her twin brother was sticking close to her like a tick on a Manticore. She tried speeding up to put so distance between them, but Edric matched her pace, smiling pleasantly. She tried slowing down, and her twin backpedaled with her. She was sorely tempted to create a illusion of herself as a decoy and make a break for it when he wasn’t looking, but she was smart enough to know that Chris would’ve hidden dozens of cameras around the forest to catch everything. She wasn’t going to walk the Trail of Shame for a single moment of weakness. A very, _very_ annoying weakness.

“So, day out, isn’t it?” said Edric is a would-be casual tone.

“I’m hot, I’m sweaty, and I’ve stubbed my toe four different times,” Emira retorted irritably.

“Yeah, pretty great, isn’t it?” said Edric, not at all listening to her. “So, Em, I was thinking – “

“Someone alert the media,” Emira muttered sarcastically.

“”And I think I have the perfect way to get us on the same team,” Edric continued brightly.

“Ed, Chris made it very clear that we are not allowed to switch teams after you bugged him about it for two days straight,” Emira grimaced.

“Just hear me out!” said Eddric insistently. “It’s a foolproof plan! All we need are some laughing jellyfish, some screaming pineapples, a can of singing spinach, and a zebra.”

“Edric, how many times do I have to tell you,” Emira groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “There are no such things as Zebras. They’re just make believe.”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Emira:** What do I have to do to make him realize I _don’t_ want to be on the same team as him?! We may be twins, but that doesn’t mean we have to do everything together. We’re going to graduate from Hexside soon and I want to become independent. But apparently, he just doesn’t get it.

**_BZZT_ **

**Edric** : I don’t get it. Em’s been acting really weird ever since we got here. It’s like she doesn’t want us to be on the same team. But that’s crazy! We’re twins! You know, best friends for life! Why wouldn’t she want us to be together? Must be something else.

* * *

The cast had just past the two-mile mark of their run when Chris came swooping in low over their heads riding Puddles the Griffin. How the human host managed to get the stubborn Griffin to cooperate was a mystery.

“Pick up the pace, people!” Chris yelled into his megaphone, blasting their ears with its unnecessary volume. “We’ve got a long day ahead of us and we’re burning daylight! Lift those knees! Move, move, move!”

“…I want to hurt him so much,” Eda grumbled.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the majority of both teams made it to the main lodge. Eda and Lilith were practically dead in their seats; the owl teen smashed her face on the table the instant she sat down and hasn’t moved since. The smell of sweat permeated the cabin so badly, Chris had to resort to wearing five pine air fresheners like necklaces to keep the stench at bay. A few of their contestants held their throats, which had become dry and scratchy from the exhausting exercise. They had demanded water, but Chris made it clear that they weren’t getting any; they were too tired and sweaty to complain.

The door to the main lodge flew open and the last of the runners came limping in. First was the Blight Twins, who were forced to lean on each other or risk collapsing. Then came Bo, then Batthew, Gus, and finally Eileen in that order.

“So glad of you to join us,” said Chris smiling.

“You are…you are…,” Bo tried to speak, but wheezed instead. “Oh dear Titan, I’m too tired for smack talk.”

“Well…sucks to be you guys,” said Boscha, grinning through her exhaustion. “The midget walked through the door before eyeball girl. That…that means we win this half of the challenge…. We win the reward.”

Despite their weary bodies, the Slimy Worms managed to dredge up enough energy to throw up their hands with a victory cheer while the Puking Slugs slumped in their chairs defeatedly…. Until….

“Yeah, hate to break it to you, worms, but you didn’t win,” Chris suddenly interjected, nipping the celebration in the bud.

“What’re you talking about?!” Lilith questioned sharply. “All of our people made it first!”

“Did they, though?” Chris replied with a sinister snicker.

The Slimy Worms looked one another, confused, until Willow asked, “Hey, has anyone seen Jerbo?”

Her teammates searched the room and realized that Jerbo was, in fact, nowhere to be seen. His lack of presence or any distinctive characteristics made him very easy to miss.

Growling under her breath, Boscha stood up and stomped to the door, intent on find their missing teammate and giving him a painful thrashing. She stepped outside, her three eyes scanning the campground…and found him lying face down on the edge of the forest…five feet from the starting line with a scavenger bird pecking his skull.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Boscha screeched, grabbing a handful of her hair, threating to tear it out.

“Looks like ol’ Jerbo faceplanted right out the gate,” Chris laughed. “Weak sauce. That means the winners of the first half are…the Puking Slugs!” The winning team let out a brief but exhausted cheer.

“I’m going to kill that ganglky nerd,” Boscha threatened, sitting back down at the Worm’s table.

“I won’t stop you,” said Willow in a low, dark tone, raising two of the Triclops’s eyebrows.

“And here’s your reward for winning the first half,” said Chris before shouting to the kitchens. “King! Get your butt out here!”

The kitchen doors flew open at hios summons and the tiny dog demon walked out dragging a child’s wagon…with pyramid of water bottles on it!

Luz and Edric were literally tearing up as the Puking Slugs honed in on the water pyramid like a pack of sharks that had caught the scent of blood. They guzzled down their liquid salvation relentlessly, sometimes gulping down two or three bottles at once.

“Yes! Drink! Drink, my dehydrated subjects!” King shouted with overexaggerated hand gestures. “Feast upon the liquid bounty of your glorious king!”

“Dude, you didn’t pay for any of it,” said Chris.

“You didn’t either!” cried King, pointing an accusing finger at the host.

“True,” Chris agreed nonchalantly.

The Slimy Worms stared longingly as their opponents demolished the water bottle tower in only a few minutes. Gus smacked his chapped lips with a moan and Amelia rubbed her scratchy throat.

“Uh, Chris, do we get any water?” Skara asked hopefully.

“Nope!” Chris answered happily. “You’re gonna have to tough it out as we move on to the second part of your challenge…the Heat-Off!”

“The what off?” asked Selene.

“Don’t worry, this is an easy one,” said Chris. He gestured over to king, who brought out a second wagon stocked with an assortment of glass jars and unlabeled bags. “Both teams will have to eat their way through a series of spicy foods collected from both the human world and the Boiling Isles. The team with the last member standing wins invisibility.”

“Let me see if I got this straight,” said Amelia, glaring. “You made us run around the entire foot under the hot sun to make us sweaty and thirsty so that you could force us to eat a bunch of spicy foods that will no doubt wreak havoc on our already dry throats?”

“That’s right,” said Chris proudly.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Amelia:** There’s evil, and then there’s Chris McLean.

**_BZZT_ **

**Eda:** This guy makes Warden Wrath look like a saint…. And he’s way more handsome, too.

**_BZZT_ **

**Warden Wrath:** (Looking downcast) Aww….

* * *

The Puking Slugs returned to their seats after rehydrating themselves. With their thirst quench and bodies cooled down, it would give them a big advantage against the feverish and exhausted Slimy Worms. But they also remembered that this was Chris McLean they were dealing with. He wasn’t in the business of being nice; it wouldn’t be good for ratings.

“I’m a little worried about this next part,” Amity admitted to Luz as they sat down. “I’m not all that good when it comes to spicy things. I can barely handle the wyrm sauce at Taco Dragon.”

“Don’t sweat it, Amity!” said Luz brightly, giggling at her own unintentional pun, and puffed out her chest. “I once drank a whole gallon of _Señor Fuego’s_ Mouth-Scorching Hot Sauce when I was nine! It completely burned my taste buds and I needed tongue surgery! But I didn’t cry once!”

“Why would you drink a bunch of hot sauce?” asked Amity strangely.

“I thought it would give me fire breath,” Luz answered simply.

“We’re going to start off with something simple,” said Chris while King went around the tables, setting plates with a single orange pepper in front of each contestant. “The habanero chill pepper, a much beloved staple food of Spanish culture. Just take one bite and try not to pass out.”

Selene picked up the pepper, looking it over with a frown, and asked, “Are you sure this is safe…?”

“Stop being such a baby and eat the stupid thing!” said Boscha harshly, making a show of snatching up the pepper and take a huge bite out of it –

\- and ran out the main lodge five seconds later, screaming like she was being murdered, and jumped headfirst into the ocean, steaming wafting the water.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Boscha:** (Crossing her arms and pouting) So I’m not good with spicy foods! Big Deal!

**_BZZT_ **

**Willow:** (Grins smugly at the camera)

* * *

While Boscha was cooling herself off, the remaining eighteen contestants’ bit into their own peppers with contrasting reactions. The majority of the Puking Slugs were unbothered by the pepper’s heat, having replenished themselves beforehand; Luz practically swallowed the whole thing in one gulp.

The Slimy Worms, on the other hand, were having a miserable time. Already hot and sweaty from their run, the pepper’s increased their internal temperature and practically burned their bone-dry throats on the way down. But despite their discomfort, none of the Worms except Boscha showed any sign of backing down; Skara made a show of slamming her fist on the table and shooting a challenging glare to the opposition.

Unfortunately for the Puking Slugs, Eileen was the only one whose pepper was still left on their plate. Chris walked over to the eyeball witch, glancing between the untouched pepper and Eileen.

“If you don’t eat, you’re out, dude,” Chris warned.

“…..” Eileen gestured to her lack of an oral cavity.

“I have no idea what you just said,” Chris stated, “but if you don’t eat, you’re out of the competition. Buh-bye.”

Eileen her head sadly and rose from her seat, sitting on the sidelines with Boscha, who came back from the ocean dripped and scowling.

“Congratulations, contestants, you made it past the baby round!” said Chris, laughing delightfully at their misery. “Lets move on to the second round: salamander flakes!” King walked around the tables again, dumping a small pile of glowing-red flakes on their plates. “A classic Boiling Isles candy that promises to burn your mouth to a crisp…. I’d also like to take a moment to remind everyone that you all signed the waivers saying we’re not responsible for anything that happens to you.”

“Ugh, I always hated these things,” Bo grimaced. “My older brothers used to trick me into eating these when I was a kid. I got blisters in my mouth every time.”

“It’s not so bad, dude,” said Batthew reassuringly. “Just imagine it’s something chill like…like ice scream. That’s what I always do.”

Bo didn’t seem too convinced, but scooped a handful of the flakes nonetheless. All the contestants shoved the salamander flakes into their mouths with varying levels of difficulty. Bo took the bat witch’s advice and tried to imagine the flakes were something other than scolding-hot scales, and surprisingly, it worked. The Healing Track girl willed herself to preserver and successfully swallowed the flakes. But in an unexpected twist, it was Batthew that choked on the salamander flake, falling out of his seat and coughing harshly.

“Sorry, bro, you’re out!” Chris declared. Batthew made a whining noise and joined the rejects. “Since you all seem to be made of study stuff, let’s kick it up a notch.” King took another lap around the table, handing the contestants glasses of bubbling, scarlet-red liquid. “A Boiling Isles holiday classing: Bubbling Lava!”

“Wait, we have to drink _lava?!_ ” Luz yelped, eyes popping.

“Crazy, right?” Chris laughed. “I’m so glad you kids signed those waivers.”

“Aw, it’s no big deal, Luz,” Eda said nonchalantly, raising her glass in a toast. “I’ve drink stronger stuff than this back when I was in Hexside. Their really sucks.” She tilted her head back and drank the whole thing in a handful of gulps, slamming the empty glass on the table and spoke in a raspy voice. “Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff.”

Luz grimaced, staring at her own bubbling glass, then decided she might as well bite the bullet. The human girl plugged her nose and downed the whole thing without having to taste it. The liquid burned like a **(CENSOR)** going down her throat. She dropped her glass, clutching her esophagus, and slammed her head into the table three times to block out the burning sensation. It worked, but now Luz had a splitting headache.

The other contestants used similar tactics to force themselves into drink the bubbling lava. But when Viney started to take a sip, the lava had barely touched her lips before she slammed the glass and stood up from her seat.

“Uh-uh, that’s it, I’m bowing out!” she declared swiftly.

“Same,” Amelia agreed, pushing her untouched glass away.

“And in three rounds, it’s the Slimy Worm’s seven to the Puking Slug’s six,” Chris announced. “But we still have a lot more contestants to eliminate and a whole lot of torture ahead. Unfortunately, this is a twenty-two-minute show, so we’re gonna need to speed things up. Montage speed!”

Intensive rock music plays in the background like in those training montages in movies as the scene play out accordingly:

The contestants had to guzzle a bottle of Molten Reaper hot sauce. Eda started off strong until it went down the wrong pipe and caused her to choke. Lilith laughed at her sister’s expense, which cause the hot sauce to fly out of her nose, eliminating them both. Selene was the next to be eliminated, accidentally squeezing a ghost pepper too hard and spraying her only eye with its juices. Willow only managed a single bite from spicy Indian curry before her glasses fogged up, cracked, and faceplanted into her plate. Barcus, lacking sweat glands, passed out early from overheating. Chris and the contestants reclined leisurely in their massage chairs while they were given pedicures by Chris’s personal stylists. The Puking Slugs suffered a double elimination after Edri and Bo simultaneously passed out from the Volcano Burritos from Taco Dragon. The unpredictable mixtures of the spicy foods caused serious damage to Gus’s bowels and had been stuck in the bathrooms ever since.

When the montage ended, only five contestants remained: Luz, Amity, Cat, Skara, and Emira. The five had been moved to the same table for convenience, all of them wheezing and red-faced. Except Emira, who was surprisingly fresh as a daisy.

“After a series of grueling, heat-inducing munchies, we’re now down to our final five,” Chris announced. “Three Slugs and two Worms as we head into the final round of the competition.”

“Wait, did we just get pedicures a minute ago?” asked Skara curiously.

“Hey, what happens in the montage stays in the montage!” Chris stated firmly.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Luz:** See? Chris gets it.

* * *

“I can’t believe Emira isn’t even winded,” Amity whispered to Luz, glancing over at her older, clean-faced sister. “She’s been eating all the same stuff as the rest of us and she isn’t even sweating.”

“Maybe she has some secret technique,” Luz murmured.

At the same time, Edric walked up behind his twin and said cheerfully, “Nice going, Em! You’ve got this in the bag!”

But when he went to clap Emira on his shoulder, his hand passed through her like she was made of mist. Amity let out a strangled gasp and pointed.

“Hey! Hey! Emira’s using an illusion spell as a decoy!” she wailed.

“Wait, seriously?! I’ve gotta see this!” said Chris excitedly. He dashed over to Emira and waved his hand through her head. The Fake Blight twin evaporated into thin air. Every then looked to the main lodge door as the real Emira poked her head inside, waving sheepishly. “Dude! Epic fake out! ...But you’re still eliminated.”

The Slimy Worms groaned as Emira joined the losers, but not before socking her twin in the shoulder.

“And that brings the total down to four: three Slugs against one Worm,” Chris announced.

“Yes! We’re totally gonna win!” Luz cheered, glomping herself onto Amity. “Isn’t that great, Amity?!”

“Whoops! Looks like the Puking Slugs are down to two,” said Chris, laughing hysterically.

“Huh?” Luz mumbled, confused. She pulled away and realized that Amity’s face had suddenly passed out, her entire body burning-red. “ _¡Oh Dios mío!_ Amity, what happened?!”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Cat:** …………(Facepalms)

* * *

“This is it: the final showdown!” Chris declared excitedly as Amity was dragged off to the sidelines. “I wanna congratulate everyone that made it this far. Honestly, I didn’t think you would, but you’re gonna wish you hadn’t. Because the final round is so dangerous, so deadly, so mouth-numbing hot that it was outlawed in twelve dimensions. This next morsel is _soooo_ hot, it was named after formal TDI and TDA star…. The Justin Pepper!”

The human host raised a single glass jar into everyone’s view. There were no details on what it contained; only a picture of the most handsome, most beautiful, most singularly perfect specimen in multiple realities posed shirtless on the label, his twelve-pack abs rippling. There was an unexplainable dreamy music in the air as every contestant in the main lodge swooned as one.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Viney:** Wow. Just…wow.

**_BZZT_ **

**Eda:** Mmm, mama like.

**_BZZT_ **

**Lilith:** Physical attraction is so the weak-minded who are incapable of withstanding their primal urges. That being said. (Swoons and fans herself.) Oh my Titan…

**_BZZT_ **

**Barcus:** (Hot and heavy panting)

**_BZZT_ **

**Amity:** …I don’t get it.

* * *

“This is a last warning to all of you,” said Chris in a rare instance of seriousness while King placed one scorching-hot pepper on each other their plates with tongs. “Once you take a bite out of this, there is no going back. It’s do-or-die time. Literally. Choose wisely.”

Luz made an audible gulping noise, looking down at her own pepper. Unless her eyes were deceiving her, the vegetable was glowing seething-red and – was it chanting in demonic tongue? The Latina and Cat exchanged looks of uncertainty, then nodded and slowly, timidly, picked up their pepper. Luz winced; the pepper wasn’t just hot to the taste buds; it was practically scorching her skin by touching it. The human witch took several deep breaths, trying to psych herself up no matter how terrified she was. She had to do this for her team. For Eda, Amity, Viney, and everyone else that was counting on her.

Luz slowly edged the pepper into her mouth –

“I CAN’T DO IT!”

Luz and Cat dropped their peppers like they had been electrocuted. They looked across the table at Skara, who was hiding her face in her hands, looking ashamed of herself.

“I can’t do it…,” Skara whimpered. “….I give up.”

“And there you have it, folks!” Chris declared enthusiastically. “The winners of the Heat-Off are…the Puking Slugs!”

Luz and Cat exhaled long sighs of relief, happy that they wouldn’t have to subject themselves to further torture. The Puking Slugs piled on Luz and Cat, lifting them over their heads and tossing them up and down in the air with wild cheers. The Slimy Worms looked dejected; Boscha kicked one of the chairs in frustration.

“Puking Slugs, you’re safe from another elimination,” Chris announced. The human host gestured to the kitchen door as King struggled to drag two large wagons, both carrying multiple cases of what looked like milk. “And as a reward, you’ll all be receiving a month’s supply of ice-cold Canadian moose milk to cool you down.” He paused for a moment to let the Slugs get in their cheers before turning to the losing team. “Worms, I’ll be seeing you at the Boneyard Ceremony tonight.”

* * *

Night came fast over the Boiling Isles. While the Puking Slugs celebrated in their cabins with a round of ice-cold moose milk, the Slimy Worms dragged their feet over to the Boneyard Ceremony where the blue flames were lit in the firepit. Jerbo had regained consciousness and was sporting a bandage where the scavenger pecked his head repeatedly. Skara sat with her arms around her knees, looking downcast. Boscha was holding her Slitherbeast egg like a security blanket.

After a few moments of tense silence, Chris appeared behind the podium with a tray of branded skulls.

“You’ve all cast your votes and made your decision,” he said dramatically. “There are only nine immunity skulls and ten of you. When I call your name, come up and claim your skull. The contestant who does not receive a skull must immediately walk the Trail of Shame to Loserville. And you can never come back – ever.

“The first skull goes to Skara.”

Skara perked up with a happy grin and ran over to claim her skull.

“Willow.”

Willow exhaled a relieved sigh and joined Skara.

“Emira.”

Emira flipped her hair confidently and walked over to the other survivors.

“Lilith. Gus. Barcus. Amelia. Selene.”

And then only Boscha and Jerco were the only one who remained in their seats. Jerbo twiddled his thumbs nervously while Boscha clung to her Slitherbeast egg tighter.

“Contestants, this is the last immunity skull,” said Chris, gesturing to the item on the tray. “Boscha, you wimped out after the first bite. Major fail. Jerbo, you didn’t even make it to the Heat-Off. Even bigger fail.

“The last skull of the evening goes to…,” Chris purposely paused to build the dramatic tension, taking personal joy in watching the two teens squirm in their chairs. After he deemed that a sufficient time had passed, he called the final survivor of the day: “Boscha.”

All tension instantly washed off the triclops. She rose from her seat, carrying her Slitherbeast egg under one arm and taking her immunity skull with the other. That only left Jerbo sitting alone and slumped in his seat.

“Jerbo, it’s the Trail of Shame for you, buddy,” said Chris, gesturing to the path.

The gangly witch offered no final words or said any good-byes to his former teammates, dragging his feet sadly as he walked the trail and vanished into the shadow of the forest.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Gus:** I don’t really _know_ Jerbo that well, so I don’t feel bad about voting for him. But Skara really nice and Boscha’s our team’s strongest player, even if she is a jerk. It makes sense to vote for the weakest link.

* * *

“Slimy Worms, rest up,” Chris advised. “You’re safe…for now.”

After the human host dismissed them, The Slimy Worms made the trek back to their cabin. The group of Boscha, Skara, Amelia, and Selene hanged back behind the rest, talking amongst themselves.

“I’m sorry I blew it during the Heat-Off,” Skara apologized sadly.

“It wasn’t you’re fault,” said Boscha, frowning. “The problem was our lack of communication. Nobody noticed that skinny loser went missing because nobody said anything. And if we had talked to each other, we could’ve come up with a strategy to win that stupid contest. It’s like in Grudby – communication is key.”

“So what do we do?” asked Amelia.

“Someone needs to get these losers in line,” Boscha declared firmly. “Make sure that we’re all on the same page. Amity’s sister is easy enough to convince – she doesn’t care as long as she wins. That mutt is a pushover, too. And you just need to sweet talk the midget to win him over. The problem is bushy hair likes to think she’s in charge and Half-A-Witch Willow grew a spine recently. That’s gonna make them difficult to deal with.”

“So how’re you going to win them over?” asked Selene.

Boscha was quiet as she stared intensely at Willow’s back, then muttered cryptically, “I’ll think of something….”

* * *

**Contestants remaining: 18**

**Puking Slugs** : Luz, Eda, Amity, Edric, Viney, ~~Mattholomule~~ , Bo, Eileen, Batthew, Cat  
**Slimy Worms:** Lilith, Willow, Gus, Boscha, Skara, Emira, ~~Jerbo~~ , Barcus, Amelia, Selene


	4. Witches and Chill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time on Total Drama Boiling Isles:
> 
> Things got a little spicy as the contestants duked it out in a good old-fashioned Heat-Off where we separated the wimps from the losers. There were laughs, there were gags, and a whole lot of digestive issues. Seriously, you do not want to see what they did to the communal bathrooms last night.
> 
> Meanwhile, things were “heating up” between Luz and Amity during the early morning run. The “fearless champion” short-circuiting Amity’s brain as she carried her the rest of the way. Cute. Unfortunately, Amity couldn’t hold it together during the competition and passed out like a cliché lovesick stereotype. Sad, but still cute.
> 
> In the end, the Puking Slugs took the win when Skara wimped out on the final round. But it was the little weirdo Jerbo who got the boot for passing out at the start of the morning run.
> 
> Who will be next to walk the dreaded Trail of Shame? And will Luz ever realize that Amity has a painfully obvious crush on her? Probably not. Stay tuned for the most dramatic boneyeard ceremony yet on Total – Drama – Boiling Isles!

It was a few days after the Heat-Off. The remaining eighteen contestants were gathered in the main lodge, trying to swallow King’s food. If goopy, stretchy purple paste could be counted as food.

The Puking Worms were still riding their high from their previous win, laughing and joking as Luz and Eda started a private food fight with King’s “meal” while Amity played reluctant referee. The Slimy Worms, on the other hand, were solemn and silent throughout breakfast. Willow looked around the table nervously at everyone’s tense and unhappy expressions. She knew it was because most pf her team consisted of Boscha’s groupie, and when Boscha was upset, no one was happy. No one except Gus, who seemed blissfully unaware of the suffocating tension.

“Yo, Boscha!” Chris walked up to the Worm’s table, grinning smugly. “You doing okay there? Food ain’t too hot, right?”

“Stuff it, McLean,” Boscha hissed, shoving her bowl of goop away and crossing her arms angrily.

“Hey, no need to get all _hot under the collar_ ,” Chris cackled. He quickly ducked out of the way as the angry triclops threw a fireball at his head. “Whoa, touchy, touchy.”

“Could you please not antagonize her,” Selene pleaded, rubbing her moon-shaped head exhaustedly. “We hardly got any sleep last night because Eda and Lily were having a shouting match. Again.”

“Oof! Glad I’m not you guys,” said Chris, pausing for a moment top look around. “And speaking of, where is Lily?”

Ask and ye shall receive, as the old saying goes. The main lodge door swings open and a tired-looking Lilith walks inside, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. When the former coven leader didn’t notice was the chorus of startled gasps coming from the Slimy Worms and the restrained snickers from the Puking Slugs.

It appears someone had taken a magic marker to Lilith’s face and drew black rings around her eyes and whiskers, giving her the impression of a raccoon. And if that wasn’t enough, they had somehow slipped a pair of fake ears on her head and a fake ringed-tailed to the seat of her pants without the witch noticing. The bushy-haired (fake) teen crossed the lodge and sat at her teammate’s table without suspecting anything, much to the silent delight of the Puking Slugs.

It wasn’t until she sat down between Amelia and Willow that the silence finally broke. Boscha, Emira, and their followers all broke out in laughing fits, startling Lilith. Willow did a better job of hiding her amusement behind her hand, but Gus literally fell out of his seat and started rolling on the floor, laughing.

“What? What? What’s happening? What’s going on?” Lilith sputtered quickly, panicked.

“Sorry, sweetie, but you gotta see this for yourself,” said Emira, biting back her laughter long enough to pass her compact to Lilith.

The former coven leader flipped the compact open and let out a startled gasp at her reflection in the mirror. From the eye rings to the wiskers, to ears and tail, there was only one person that could be responsible for such an affront. And just as she suspected, the criminal was guffawing out loud over at the Puking Slug’s table, holding her stomach like she was about to burst. Lilith, seething, shout up from her seat and screamed:

“ ** _EDALYN!!!_** ”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Lilith:** (Wiping the marker off her face) You know she’s been like that ever since we were children? She’s always slacking off, never takes anything seriously, and just causes trouble in general. So she is – was – a prodigy. That’s no excuse. You would think that bringing in Luz would have taught her to grow up, but she’s still the same immature brat!

* * *

While the Clawthorne sister were engaged in yet another shouting match, this time involving the tossing of King’s questionable “food”, Amity was staring suspiciously over at Boscha. The three-eyed witch seemed to be engaged in a game of tug-o’-war with her breakfast until she stretched the goopy material so far, it slingshot to the ceiling and stuck. It was when she looked up at her would-be meal that Boscha noticed Amity staring at her. The triclops glared and Amity returned it with an icy stare of her own before turning around in her seat.

“You okay, Amity?” The mint-haired witch looked up to Bo and Cat watching her from across the table; the former was concerned while the latter maintained a neutral expression.

“It’s Boscha,” said Amity, keeping her voice down so that others (mostly Luz) didn’t overhear them. “I know she’s up to something. I can feel it.”

“Are you sure?” asked Bo with a quirked brow. “She hasn’t done anything wrong so far – “

“Except steal our eggs from the first challenge,” Amity retorted; Cat nodded in agreement.

“Okay, yeah, there was that,” Bo conceded. “But she technically didn’t break any rules, sooooo….”

“I just know she’s planning something; she always is,” Amity declared, grimacing. “I know she’s gonna do something to sabotage us or turn our team against each other. That’s just the sort of thing she would do. I need to keep a watch on her at all times.”

Cat suddenly tapped the table to get their attention. She made a gesture to each of them and then clapped her hands together, folding them. The Boiling Isles didn’t have a sign language for mutes like Cat, but most witches were able to understand what they were communicating from the smallest gestures.

“You think we should form an alliance?” asked Amity surprisingly; Cat nodded.

“Ooh, that’s a great idea!” said Bo excitedly. “I’ve seen it all the time on shows like this. We could team up to stop Boscha from whatever’s she’s planning and we could help each other get further in the game!”

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Amity hummed. “Having more people helping would ease the tension a little.” Cat pointed her thumb to the left in the direction of Luz, who was choking on King’s goop. “No, we shouldn’t get Luz involved. As much as I like her – in a totally plutonic way! – she’s too nice to do anything sneaky and is terrible at keeping secrets. We can’t let Boscha know we’re on to her. The less people who know about the alliance, the better.”

“Then it’s agreed,” said Bo with a confident grin. She put her hand out in the middle of the table, then Cat and Amity put theirs on top. “From now on, we’re the Secret Slug Alliance.”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Amity:** Forming an alliance with Bo and Cat was a smart play. They both know Boscha as well as I do, so they’ll know what to expect. I imagine Boscha’s already formed her own alliance over in the Worms. Now it’s just a matter of who can outplay the other first.

* * *

“Okay, unruly teens, listen up!” Chris announced, clapping his hands to catch their attention. “Your next challenge is in ten minutes! So eat up, if you can. You’re gonna need your energy what I’ve got planned.”

The contestants shared apprehensive glances, worried for what the sadistic human host might have in store for them.

* * *

After several attempts of trying to choke down King’s slop, the contestants eventually gave up and headed outside. The lined up in front of their cabins where Chris was waiting for them with an excited grin, which was never a good sign. But as Boscha stood between Skara and Barcus, she noticed Amity leering at her from the corner of her third eye. The mint-haired witch quickly faced forward after she had been caught, but routinely glanced in the triclops’s direction. Boscha raised two of her three eyebrows, but said nothing.

Lilith was the last to join them, coming out of the communal bathroom scrubbing her face furiously with a raggedy towel. But all that did was smear the marker stains all over her face. Eda snorted and cackled out loud; Lilith threw her marker-stained towel at her little sister’s face.

“Today’s challenge is a fun little spin on an old Earth children’s game: freeze tag!” Chris announced.

“Ooh, ooh, are we gonna be using magic to freeze people?” Luz asked excitedly. “That would be such a ‘Chris’ thing to do. Like that one time in season three – “

A blast of freezing cold air smacked the jabbering Latina in the face and her entire head was encased in a block of ice, her eyes bulging and her mouth frozen mid-speech. The contestants watched dumbfounded as their human companion fell backwards, shattering the ice on the ground and freeing her face. The source of the flash freeze came from Chris, who had somehow managed to acquire one Luz’s ice glyphs.

“That is seriously awesome,” said Chris, crumpling the now useless paper and throwing it over his shoulder. “I need to get me more of those. Anyway, as I was saying, the game is freeze tag, but with a little twist. Just like Luz said, you’ll be using magic to freeze your opponents in place.”

“Uh, ain’t that dangerous, dude?” asked Batthew.

“More dangerous that sneaking by a psychotic Slitherbeast?” Chris retorted.

“He’s got a point,” Edric commented.

“The goal of the game is to freeze all the players on the opposing team first,” Chris continued. “Contestants are allowed to use whatever magic they want during the game as long as they only use ice magic to catch players.

“One more thing you should know, there is a time limit,” Chris informed them pointedly. “We want a nice, entertaining game, but we are on a bit of a timetable. Both teams will have one hour to catch as many players on the opposing team as they can. Which ever side freezes the most players wins invincibility for the night. The losers will be sending one of their own down the Trail of Shame.”

“Are there any restrictions we should know about?” asked Lilith, raising her hand like a respectable student.

“For the sake of avoiding property damage and paying people to fix stuff, the campgrounds are off-limits,” said Chris. “You can use in the forest around the Foot. Just as long as you don’t set the whole place on fire.”

“No promises,” said Emira teasingly.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Eda:** After the Slitherbeast challenge, I thought all of them were gonna be dangerous. But a spice eating challenge followed by a game of tag. (snort) If the rest of the show is like this, I’m gonna be sitting pretty all the way to the finals.

**_BZZT_ **

**Lilith:** Undoubtedly, Edalyn isn’t going to take this competition seriously and expects to just breeze by. Well, I’ve got a news flash for you, Edalyn. You don’t have your magic anymore, so it’s not going to be as easy as you think it is. Maybe this would be a good time to teach her a lesson in humility.

**_BZZT_ **

**Boscha:** Amity’s been giving me the stinky eye since this morning and she’s been talking to Bo and Cat a lot. I have a pretty good idea why, thought. (Chuckles snidely) You think you can take me, Blight? Then I say, bring it on.

* * *

“Contestants, you’ll have five minutes to enter the forest and find your starting points!” Chris explained. “The challenge will start when you hear the whistle.”

To demonstrate, he blew a strange purple whistle with bat wings. It was obviously a Boiling Isle’s whistle, because when Chris blew into it, it let out a high-pitched shriek so loud, it shattered all the windows in the campground and paralyzed Batthew, who was standing closest to the human host.

“All right, people, we’re burning daylight!” Chris shouted, digging his pinky in his left ear. “Let’s get a move on!”

* * *

The Puking Slugs had walked in the northern direction of the forests opposite of the Slimy Worms headed south. After two or three minutes, they just stopped at some random spot and waited until Chris gave the signal. While everyone else was loafing around, Luz was doing a few push-ups to get herself pumped. Emphasis on “few” – she only managed two and a half before her weak nerd arms gave out.

“You need to relax, kid,” said Eda, casually reclining on a tree root. “You’re gonna wear yourself out before we even start.”

“Aren’t you nervous?” asked Luz. “I mean, we’re going up against Lilith. And Willow. And I guess Boscha, too.”

“Nervous? Me? Nah,” Eda said with a hilarious snort. She bounded over the tree root, and wrapped her arm around Luz’s neck to pull her close. “I’ve already cooked up an ingenious plan to get the jump on those losers. You smuggled my cheat box in like I asked?”

“Yep, it’s right here,” said Luz. She reached inside her pocket and somehow pulled out colorful lunchbox. “I packed it before we left the house.”

“That a girl,” Eda grinned, playfully ruffling the Latina’s hair. “With this baby, we’ve got this in the – “ But the owl teen stopped herself as she opened the box, finding a wide selection of cheeses stuffed inside the box. “Uh, Luz, what’s this?”

“You’re cheese box,” Luz responded brightly. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I picked out a wide variety. There’s scream cheese – “

“Darn your adorable antics, Luz!” Eda groaned, tossing the cheese box over her shoulder and hitting Eileen. “Okay, this is gonna be a lot harder than I thought. Knowing my sister, she’s probably already got the other team rallied together.”

* * *

“Could I please have everyone’s attention?!” Lilith yelled incessantly. “Can You just – would you please – would someone just – is anyone going to listen to me?!”

“Nope,” Emira answered plainly.

Looking around the Slimy Worms team, not a single one was giving her the attention she deserved. Her! The (former) head of the Emperor’s Coven! Instead, half of them were huddled around Boscha, who were speaking in low, hushed tones and unlikely to share with the rest of the team. Gus and Willow weren’t eager to heed Lilith after the whole “kidnap-Luz-and-nearly-kill-her-to-capture-Eda” incident. And Emira just didn’t care what any of them were doing and instead was listening to music on her scroll. The only person(?) who would listen was Barcus.

“ **BARK, BARK!** ”

…Then again, he might just think Lilith had treats. She couldn’t tell.

“Come on, people, we need to get our acts together!” Lilith shouted, stomping her foot aggravatedly. “We’re going to be facing the Slugs any moment now and you can bet Edalyn is going to find some way to cheat. We need to come up with a plan.”

“Yeah, we’ve already got a plan, thank you,” said Boscha, she and her followers standing with confident grins.

“Are you planning on share with the rest of us, Boscha?” asked Willow, frowning.

“It’s on a need-to-know basis,” said Boscha, brushing her off. “And you don’t need to know, half-a-witch.”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Willow:** The only reason I didn’t vote Boscha out in the last challenge is because she’s tough and smart and could help the Slimy Worms win. But she’s still a big jerk! What is her problem?! Why is she so mean?! I just don’t get it!”

* * *

An earsplitting shriek screeched through the forest, sending the local birds scattering from the treetops. That was Chris’s signal. The game had begun.

“C’mon, girls,” Boscha commanded, gesturing Skara, Amelia, and Selene to follow. “We got some Slugs to put on ice.”

Emira stuffed her scroll in her pocket and traced a magic circle in the air, transforming herself into a deer-like creature native to the Boiling Isles and pranced away. Willow and Gus just exchanged looks, shrugged, and walked off. That just left Lilith alone with Barcus. The dog witch barked at the bushy haired (fake) teen. Lilith hanged her head and exhaled a depressed sigh.

* * *

Opposite of their opponents, the Puking Slugs moved through the forest as a group. Luz was further ahead of the team, crawling around on the ground for some strange reason that no one understood. The Puking Slugs watched the human witch as she examined random leaves like a crime scene investigator, sniffed the bark of a mossy tree, and licked no less than four different rocks. And each time, she touched her chin and hummed like she had stumbled upon a very important clue that would solve an unknown mystery.

“….” Eileen mumbled.

“Yeah, this is about normal for her,” said Eda, shrugging.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Luz:** I’ve watched all eighteen season of celebrity manhunt and they always say the key to tracking your pray is by tracking their scent. I have no idea what that means, but that’s never stopped me before!

* * *

Luz crouched down in front of another random bush, then gestured Amity to come join her.

“Amity, check this out!” Luz said excitedly. She pointed out a broken branch on the edge of the bush, which didn’t look anything special to the minty-haired witch. “See this? Someone disturbed this bush not to long ago. The enemy is nearby.”

“Or it could’ve broken way before we even got here,” said Amity, trying not to sound critical. “It’s rather difficult to tell when – “

“LOOK OUT!” Luz screamed suddenly and tackled Amity sideways.

Amity was pushed to the ground, her back becoming sore from the rough landing, and was about to yell at Luz for her abrasiveness until she realized the position they were in. The human was lying on top of her, their faces only inches apart. Amity stiffened like a board, her face heating up like the surface of the sun. Oh Titan, oh Titan, oh Titan! She was so close, Amity screamed inside her head. Was she doing this on purpose? Did Luz finally get a clue? Did her breath smell? Did she remember to brush her teeth? Oh Titan, she was sweating! She was sweating so bad!

But while Amiuty was in Gay Panic Mode™, Luz was distracted by something on their left. She suddenly snapped her attention to the right and pulled Amity close to her chest (oh merciful Grom, she was definitely gonna have a heart attack) and rolled both of them behind the bushes. It was when they stopped spinning that Amity noticed a pillar of ice on the ground where they had been seconds ago.

Luz and Amity separated when the minty-haired witch finally understood the situation. Most of the Puking Slugs were hiding behind the trees, weaving magic circles in the air and lobbing their spells at someone on the opposite side of the forest. Batthew and Eileen, unfortunately, had already been transformed into living ice sculptures. When did they –

Luz suddenly jumped in front of Amity, whipping out one of her paper glyphs, and slapped it on the ground. A wall of vines sprouted from the dirt, blocked the huge fireball that had been flying towards them. Amity leaned around the vine wall and scanned the treetops. Her brows furrowed into a heated scowl when she spotted Boscha standing on one of the higher branches, creating another fireball and lobbing it at Edric and Viney’s hiding spot.

“Boscha!” Amity shouted. “I knew you were a glory hog, but I didn’t think you were dumb enough to come after us by yourself!”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Blight,” Boscha spat with a hint of venom in her voice, tossing another fireball in her and Luz’s direction. “But, whatever. I can take you losers down with all of my eyes closed.”

Eda took the challenge, pressing one of her own fire glyphs and shooting it at the triclops. Boscha casually jumped to the next branch and lobbed another fireball, forcing the owl teen to take cover behind a tree.

Amity chose to take advantage of the triclops’s distract, weaving her own magic circle and shouted, “Abomination, rise!” A ten-foot pile of purple goop rose from the ground, stumbling forward, and launched one of its fists at Boscha. The triclops deftly flipped backwards before the abomination destroyed the branch, sliding down a long stretch of vine that seemed remarkably out of place, and landed securely on her feet. Boscha shot a smug grin at Amity before sprinting deeper into the forest, infuriating Amity.

“Quick, after her!” Amity commandeered furiously. And she took off after Boscha; Bo and Cat chasing close behind.

“Amity, wait!” Luz cried. “It could be a – “

“Kid, get back!” Eda cried before pulling the Latina by the nape.

The owl teen dragged her protégé behind cover just before a coil of vines slammed the ground where Luz once stood. The Puking Slugs searched ahead and found Willow riding a wave of vines in all of her menacing glory. The plant witch waved her hand and commanded the thickest tendril to slam the ground between the Puking Slugs, effectively dividing them; Luz and Eda on one side, Edric and Viney on the other.

While Edric and Viney ran off in one direction, Willow turned her focus on the other pair. Luz tried a bunch of cool dodge moves when Willow started taking swings at her, only to trip over her own feet and faceplant into the ground. As Willow commanded her plants to go in for the finish blow, Luz jabbed her hand in her pocket and activated the first glyph she could reach. That ended up being a light glyph, which flashed the area in a striking glimmer. Willow cried out as she slapped her hands over her eyes, blinded.

The plant witch stumbled backwards and fell off her plant wave, hitting the ground with a painful grunt. Eda wasted no time taking advantage of her dazed state and slapped one of her own ice glyphs on the ground, summoning a block of ice to encase Luz’s best friend.

“Sorry ‘bout this, kiddo,” Eda said to the frozen Willow. “But mama needs the snails.” But before she could celebrate too much, ‘Willow’ suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke. “Dang it! It was just an illusion spell!”

“That was probably Gus,” said Luz, touching her chin thoughtfully. “They’re probably hiding somewhere nearby. We should – I’m totally talking to myself, aren’t I?” Indeed, when she looked over, Eda had scurried off somewhere else. “Dang it.”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Luz:** Eda’s a…sort of good mentor, but she has the attention span of a squirrel.

**_BZZT_ **

**Eda:** Luz says I get easily distracted, but that’s not – (sees something off camera, her eyes dilate) – Ooh, shiny!

* * *

Luz runs off into another part of the forest looking for where her teammates might have run off to. When she was out of sight, the grouping of Willow, Gus, and Barcus poked their heads out from behind the shrubs. Willow turned to Gus and asked:

“Did you really have to make the illusion so realistic? I wasn’t actually blinded, you know.”

“I am an _artist!_ ” Gus declared passionately. “I never to anything halfway!”

“Well, our plan to catch them all with illusion me was a bust,” Willow grumbled, ducking back behind the bush. “So what do we do now? Do we run after them or….?”

“ **Bark, bark!** ” said Barcus. “ **Bark, bark, bark-bark-bark, bark!** ”

“Uh…do you know what he’s saying?” Gus asked Willow strangely.

“No clue,” Willow replied.

“ **Bark, bark-bark, bark, bark-bark-bark, bark-bark!** ”

The two humanoid witches kept staring at their canine companion, blinking slowly, mystified. Barcus face-pawed.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Gus:** Yeah, I think we might’ve jumped the wand on voting Jerbo out. He was the only one that understood what Barcus is saying.

**_BZZT_ **

**Barcus: Bark, bark-bark, bark, bark-bark-bark, bark-bark! Bark, bark? Bark, bark, bark-bark-bark, bark!**

* * *

Eda pushed her way through the forest brush, snagging dozens of leaves and twigs in her already wild orange mane.

“Sorry, kiddo, but mama needs to stretch her wings,” Eda apologized over her shoulder and pressed on. “Now if I were those acne-covered nerds, where would I be?”

“Right about where you are standing.”

Eda blinked and looked ahead at the rustling bushes in front of her. She flashed a toothy grin as Lilith stepped out into her open, leaves and twigs also getting caught in her bushy hair and her glasses askew.

“Hey, Lily, great ta see ya!” Eda greeted cheerfully. “Just ran into your geek squad a little while back. Great job wrangling them in. That’s the kind of leadership you’d expect from the Emperor’s top stooge.”

“It’s not my fault!” Lilith whined, stomping her foot childishly. “I had a great plan already in mind, but would they listen?! Noooo! They just do whatever they want like…like….”

“Like teenagers,” Eda offered.

Lilith breathed in deep through her nose, exhaled through her mouth, mumbling, “It’s okay. It’s fine. I can still salvage this. Once I take care of you, getting the rest of your team should be a simple matter.”

“You say that like you have chance at beating me,” said Eda, grinning smugly.

“You may have been strong when you had your own magic,” said Lilith confidently, moving into a readied stance. “But I have been diligently studying the ways of glyph magic, honing and refining my skills. You stand no chance at winning.”

“Well, Lily, if you’re really that – LOOK, A DISTRACTION!” Eda suddenly shouted, pointing in a random direction.

Two thoughts occurred to Lilith the second and looked in the direction of Eda’s finger. One, Eda was a dirty rotten cheater with or without magic. And two, she _really_ wanted to kick herself for falling for such a stupid trick. But that was hard to do when she was encased in a thick block of ice via Eda’s glyph. The owl teen walked around her frozen sister, cackling and snorting, tapping the surface like a fishbowl.

“I can’t believe you fell for that!” Eda guffawed.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Lilith:** (Hides face in her hands, embarrassed) I can’t believe I fell for that!

* * *

Somewhere in another part of the forest, Viney was moving cautiously between the trees, stopping every few seconds when she thought she heard a rustling. She unfortunately had Edric following close behind her, who was less than stealthy the way he constantly ran into low branches and stubbed his toe on a rock. By the nineth time this happened, Viney was just about ready to ditch him. Sadly, she couldn’t because the Slugs already lost two of their members and Viney had no way of knowing if the others had been caught as well.

The dual-track witch sighed when she heard her teammate smack himself against another branch.

“Could you try hurting yourself a little quieter,” she hissed.

“It’s not my fault,” Edric complained. “Why do forests have to be so rough and…leafy?”

“Because it’s a forest,” said Viney rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Look, can you just keep an eye out for me? We don’t know where the other team could be and I don’t want them sneaking up on us.”

“You got it!” Edric said with a sharp salute. “You can count on me! My eyes and ears are open! Nothing will escape my sight! Nothing will distract – “ A deer-like creature suddenly appeared from the bushes on his right. Edric gushed. “Aww, a cute widdle wildadeer!”

The male Blight started scratching its ears and making cooing noises; Viney groaned, running a hand down her face. Seeing as the boy was off in his own world, Viney rolled her eyes and kept on walking, disappearing through the brush.

Edric kept petting the wildadeer for several minutes when the beast suddenly exploded in a cloud of smoke, starling the boy as he jumped back. The male Blight gasped excitedly as his twin emerged from the smokescreen with a dramatic “Ta-da!”

“Em!” Edric squealed like an excited schoolboy, wasting no time hugging his twin. “Oh my Titan, that was good! You really fooled me! Someone’s been practicing their transmogrifying magic.”

“Changing into animals is pretty cool,” said Emira while tendering rubbing her back. “But the whole four-legged thing is murder on the back.”

“Ooh, we should totally try it out on Mittens,” said Edric eagerly. “Maybe one of us could pretend to be a werecat and the other could give them to Mittens and say they’re a pet – “

“ – and then we could change back in the middle of the night right when she’s about to fall asleep,” Emira continued, snickering mischievously. “She’ll be so freaked out, she won’t be able to sleep all night.”

“I love how your evil little mind works,” said Edric, chortling with his twin. After a few moments, the laughter died down and Edric asked, “You’re gonna freeze me now, aren’t you?”

“Eeyup,” Emira replied. Her twin didn’t even put up a fight as the eldest Blight sister twirled her finger, summoning a block of ice to trap her twin. “Really, he just makes it too eas – “

Blight girl was cut off midsentence as a blast of ice exploded from the ground beneath her feet, flash freeing her in place. Inside her chilly prison, Emira’s eyes swiveled around as Viney emerged from the brush, clapping her hands free of imaginary dust for a job well done.

“I knew something was up,” said Viney with a smug grin. “Wildadeer aren’t native to the Foot. They only roam around the Elbows.” She patted Emira’s ice block in a condescending manner. “I’m not gonna lie, that was pretty clever. But I’m in the Beast Track. You’re gonna have to get up pretty early to get the drop on – “

For the second time in a row, a blast of ice ripped from the forest floor, freezing Viney midsentence. The dual track witch’s eyes rolled around in a panic, screaming inside her head wondering how she had gotten caught. When she locked eyes with Emira, she was shocked to see the elder Blight smiling before she disappeared in a puff of smoke. It was an illusion!

The real Emira seemingly melted out of a nearby tree, having used her illusion magic to camouflage herself with the environment. She sauntered up to Viney, staring the dual track witch up and down with an appreciative look.

“You’re good,” she complimented her captive. “Nobody else would’ve picked up on my trick that easily. But I’m always threes steps ahead of everyone.” She clapped Viney’s block and nonchalantly walked away. “Better luck next time, cutie.”

If you listened closely, you could hear Viney’s muffled scream of outrage.

* * *

Emira was taking a casual walk through the, mentally plotting her next bit of trickery, when she caught something out of the corner of her eyes. The elder Blight sister paused mid-step at the unusual sight that greeted her: Willow and Gus sitting cross-legged on the ground, watching Barcus playing with…sock puppets?

“ **Bark, bark-bark, bark, bark-bark-bark-bark, bark-bark!** ” said Barcus, bouncing the sock puppets around with his paws.

Emira walked up behind Willow and Gus and asked, “Uh…what’s going on here?”

“Barcus is trying to tell us something and we have to figure out whzat it is,” Willow explained.

“It’s like a game of charades!” said Gus, shaking his tiny fists excitedly. “Okay, first word sounds like…pudding!”

Barcus face-pawed again and barked more incessantly. Emira could only watch the scene play out, stupefied…. Then she took a seat behind the younger witches and rubbed her chin in thought.

* * *

Boscha swerved around, taking cover behind one of the thick trees before a blast of cold air ripped through, freezing the trunk solid. The triclops grimaced and quickly rolled out of the way as Amity’s abomination smashed its way through the tree. Boscha wasted no time getting back to her feet and taking off deeper into the forest. The abomination stomped after her while the Secret Slug Alliance followed close behind, shooting bursts of ice magic at the fleeing triclops.

“You can’t run forever, Boscha!” Amity yelled.

“Yes, I can!” Boscha retorted with a playful smirk.

“We’re gonna get you eventually, you know!” Amity snapped. “Just give up already!”

“The day you catch me will be the day the human realizes you have a crush on her!” said Boscha, cackling.

Amity’s face turned burning red (“Whoo, I almost passed out,” she mumbled) and blasted her former friend with another ice spell.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Boscha:** I noticed Amity’s become a little obsessed with me ever since the Slitherbeast challenge, which is both flattering and annoying. She even formed her own little alliance because she thinks I’m up to something bad…. She’s not wrong.

* * *

The triclops burst through the bushes on the edge of the forest, throwing herself to the ground as another ice blast shot over her head. Boscha scrambled to her feet as the abomination thundered behind her. But she realized too late that she had nowhere left to go. She had run all the way to the other side of the forest and ended up at the base of a steep cliffside that was part of the Titan’s shin. The triclops turned around, finding herself surrounded by Amity, Bo, and Cat from all sides. The trio weaved their magic circles and readied their ice magic. Boscha raised her hands in surrender, but maintained her condescending smirk.

“Whelp, looks like you caught me,” she said nonchalantly. “Too bad. I was having so much fun, too.”

“…Something’s not right,” Amity said, glaring suspiciously. “She wouldn’t give up that easily.”

The Secret Slug Alliance were hesitant to attack Boscha right away, knowing how devious she was from years of experience. But while Amity’s sole focus was on her arch-rival, Bo heard a rustling noise behind them. The Healing track witch craned her head over her shoulder just in time to spot Skara, Amelia, and Selene emerge from the forest, rapidly spinning their spell circles before Bo had a chance to cry out:

“Amity, behind - !”

Too late. A combined explosion of three ice spells blanketed Amity’s alliance, freezing them and Amity’s abomination as ice sculptures. Boscha’s groupies cheered and high-fived one another while the triclops casually walked over to her group, brushing the imaginary dust of her shoulder.

“I can’t believe that worked!” Skara squealed. “We actually ggot the jump on Amity! _AMITY!”_

“Of course it worked,” said Boscha smugly. “Amity’s not as great as everyone thinks she is.”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Amity:** I’ll be the first to admit that I let my…obsession with beating Boscha blind me. Boscha was always good at exploiting other people’s weaknesses. But I won’t make that same mistake again.

* * *

Boscha, Skara, Amelia, and Selene were walking back the way they came through the forest, laughing as the triclops did some hilarious impressions of Amity being frozen when –

“Did Braxis fall down the well?”

“No, he’s saying the giraffes have formed an uprising.”

“You’re both wrong. It’s clearly a Slitherbeast doing the samba.”

Boscha suddenly stopped, causing her followers to bump into her from behind, so she pushed them back roughly. Two of her three eyebrows quirked strangely as the scene they just walked in on.

Willow, Gus, and Emira were all sitting on the ground facing Barcus, who had somehow brought a blackboard into the forest and was pointing out the various X’s and O’s on the board with a ruler like he was explaining complex Grudgby strategies. The humanoid witches didn’t look like they were any closer to translating what Barcus was saying. And as Boscha’s group walked closer, it seemed that their assumptions were getting wilder by the minute.

“I got it!” Gus shouted confidently. “The emperor is actually a human disguising himself as a witch and plotting to open a portal to the human world to invade the Boiling Isles!”

“What’re you idiots talking about?” asked Boscha, flabbergasted.

“Oh, hey, Boscha,” Willow greeted, frowning spitefully. “Barcus is trying to tell us something, but we can’t figure out what it is.”

“I still think it’s a Slitherbeast doing the samba,” Emira commented.

“Of all the idiotic…,” Boscha grumbled, rubbing the bridge of her nose exasperatedly. She took one glance at the blackboard with her third and said, “He’s saying we should get all of the Slugs into one place and freeze them all at once.”

There was aa chorus of “Oooh,” and “That makes sense,” and Emira persisting that it still looks like a Slitherbeast doing the samba.

“We already got eye-girl and bat-boy at the start,” Boscha stated, “and we just took out Amity’s little alliance a couple minutes ago – “

“I took out Ed and that cutie with the fishhook earring,” Emira offered.

“So that just leaves the owl girl and…the…human….,” Boscha tapered off slowly as she turned around. Th Slimy Worms became like deers in headlights when they slowly realized that Luz was standing directly behind them. The Latina was grinning like an adorable gremlin, flashing two handfuls of ice glyphs. Boscha frowned. “…I hate all of you.”

Two handfuls of ice glyphs later, and the entire Slimy Worms team was frozen in a single, massive glacier of ice.

A shrill, ear-piecing screech echoed throughout the forest. Luz craned her head back and spotted Chris once again flying Puddles the Griffin over their heads.

“That’s it, people, game over!” Chris shouted into his megaphone. “Those of you who aren’t popsicles, head back to camp! The rest of you, some interns will be around to thaw you out in a moment!”

* * *

Flashing forward half and hour later, Almost every contestant besides Eda and Luz were shivering uncontrollably, huddling themselves in as many blankets as they could reach and eating chugging down King’s hot soup. It wasn’t anywhere close to being edible, but it was better than freezing to death. Chris, looking like he just came back from a trip to the sauna, walked by sipping a cold drink.

“I just wanna say, that was some seriously wicked TV, guys,” said Chris, guffawing. “The skill, the deception, the hilarious tricks and plays. You know what my favorite part was? When every single member of the Worms huddled up in one place and Luz took them all out in one shot! I mean, seriously, you guys were so close to winning and you blew it! What happened out there?!”

“Sh-sh-sh-shut it, M-M-McLean,” Boscha stammered, her teeth chattering.

“Well, since Luz and Eda were the only ones that didn’t get turned into ice sculptures, the Puking Slugs win again!” Chris announced, letting the Slugs get in their cheers. “And you’re reward: ice cream for dinner tonight!” The human host raised his arms to defend his face when the Slugs started throwing their soup bowls at him. “Hey, hey, watch the hair!

“Slimy Worms,” Chris continued, facing the losers. “Looks like I’ll be seeing you at the Boneyard Ceremony. Again.”

* * *

Later that night, when the moon had reached its zenith, the Slimy Worms begrudgingly planted themselves in their seats at the Boneyard Ceremony, their faces lit up by the flickering blue flames of the pit fire. Several contestants were shooting angry glares towards one teammate in particular.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Selene:** I’m not normally one to complain, but we only lost because of Barcus. If he hadn’t distracted everybody, we would’ve won.

**_BZZT_ **

**Gus:** Without Jerbo, Barcus isn’t very useful. No point keeping a teammate you can’t communicate with.

**_BZZT_ **

**Barcus: Bark-bark-bark! Bark-bark! Bark? Bark-bark-bark-bark!**

* * *

“Contestants,” Chris made his dramatic entrance, carrying the tray of immunity skulls. “You’ve already placed your votes and made your decision. One of you will be going home. And you can’t come back. Ever. When you hear me call out your name, come pick up a skull…. Emira.”

“Yes!” Emira pumped her fist and laked up to claim her skull.

“Boscha.”

“Of course,” said Boscha cockily as she too claimed her skull.

“Willow. Gus. Skara. Amelia. Selene.”

Only Barcus and Lilith were left in their seats while the rest of the team stood on the opposite side of the fire. Lilith was wringing her hands nervously; if he had sweat glands, Barcus would be drenched right now.

“Contestants, we’re down to the final skull,” Chris said dramatically. “Lilith, you failed to rally the troops and had the lamest elimination in the whole game. Barcus, you pretty much screwed your entire team over at the last minute. So I think it goes without saying that the last immunity skull goes to…Lilith.”

“Oh, thank Titan!” Lilith yelped, jumping up with relief and running over to collect her skull. Barcus hanged his head and whimpered like a wounded puppy.

“Sorry, dude, but the Trail of Shame awaits,” said Chris.

Barcus was still whining as he crawled out of his seat and trudged through the darkened path into the forest with his tail between his legs.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Viney:** Looks like I’m the last of the Detention Track kids. But I’m not going down that easily. Jerbo, Barcus, I’ll win this for you guys.

* * *

“Okay, so this wasn’t the most dramatic Boneyard Ceremony,” Chris said to the viewers. “But the most important thing to remember is…I still get paid. Bonus!”

* * *

**Contestants remaining: 17**

**Puking Slugs** : Luz, Eda, Amity, Edric, Viney, ~~Mattholomule~~ , Bo, Eileen, Batthew, Cat  
**Slimy Worms:** Lilith, Willow, Gus, Boscha, Skara, Emira, ~~Jerbo~~ , ~~Barcus~~ , Amelia, Selene


	5. Holding a Grudgby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time on Total Drama Boiling Isles:
> 
> Our contestants played a “cool” game of freeze tag. Heh, ice puns.
> 
> Em gave Ed and Viney the cold shoulder. Lilith froze up in the face of her sister. And Amity’s secret alliance was given a chilling reception by Boscha and her goons. Just when it seemed like they were of the verge of winning, the Slimy Worms got cold feet when Luz put the whole team on ice. Seriously, I can do this all day.
> 
> In the end, it was Barcus who was freeezed out of the team because, quite frankly, no one knew what he was saying. That’s “ruff,” pal.
> 
> This week, another challenge will send one more contestant on a trip to Loserville. Population: Four. Who will sink? And who will stay afloat? Find out right now on Total – Drama – Boiling Isles.

Willow yawned excessively walking into the communal bathroom, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. It was the Slimy Worm’s turn to use the showers as agreed upon with the Slugs, so the majority of her teammates were already there. Even though there were four stalls, only one of them produced any hot water, which explained why Lilith, Amelia, and Selene were waiting impatiently in line. Willow walked past the line to the row of sinks, wiping the foggy mirror to see her own tired face, and splashed herself with water.

“Is it just me, or is Skara’s snoring getting worse?” Willow wondered aloud while grabbing her toothbrush.

“Maybe you should’ve taken a leaf out of Boscha’s book and brought a pair of earmuffs like her,” Selene suggested.

Willow scoffed and said, “Like I would ever turn to Boscha as an example.”

“Someone say my name?”

And speak of the triclops, Boscha walked into the communal bathroom with Skara nipping at her heels like a good little sidekick, carrying both of their shower supplies herself. Boscha’s third eye rolled over the Slimy Worms, briefly leering at Willow with mutual spite.

“All right, losers, you know the drill,” said Boscha with authority, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder. “Everybody out. This is our private time.”

Emira poked her head out from behind the curtains, frowning, and complained, “But I haven’t finished exfoliating yet.”

“Don’t care; get out,” Boscha repeated harshly.

“We don’t have to do whatever you say,” Willow huffed. She marched up to Boscha, getting right up in the triclops’ face with her arms crossed defiantly. “You’re not the boss of us. We’re staying and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

…..

Ten seconds later, Willow, Lilith, and Emira were punted out of the bathrooms (Boscha at least had the decency to give Emira a towel before kicking her out.) Amelia and Selena walked out willingly.

“I guess she can do something about it,” Lilith commented.

“Ooh, that Boscha makes me so mad!” Willow growled in frustration. She pounded her fist in the ground, accidentally making a bouquet of thorny vines pop up. She stood up and declared, “She’s not going to get away with this. We should march right back in there and – “

“Easy there, prickly,” said Emira calmly. “Whether we like it or not, we’re all on the same team. It’s not worth getting all riled up, especially when she has half the team in her pocket.”

“No, I am not letting her get away with this!” Willow shouted firmly. “I let her bully for years at school. I’m not letting her ruin this summer for me, too!”

The bespectacled witch stomped back toward the communal bathrooms; neither Emira nor Lilith tried to stop her. The shower was already running when she walked in. She started walking around the privacy wall to confront them when Boscha and Skara’s voice carried:

“You sure you don’t want the good shower, Boscha?” Skara asked. “The water feels really nice – “

“You know hot water hurts my skin,” Boscha replied. “I’ll just take a cold one after I prep myself.”

“Okay, I left the antibiotic ointment on the sink for you,” Skara said in a tender tone. “Make sure you apply it after – “

“I know, _mom,_ ” Boscha retorted sarcastically.

Willow paused momentarily and frowned. Antibiotic ointment? Did Boscha get hurt or something, she wondered. She didn’t remember the three-eyed bully getting hurt over the course of the last three challenges.

Willow stepped around the wall and came to a sudden stop, her hands flying to her mouth to stop herself from gasping. Boscha was staring at herself in the mirror, topless, her hands gripping the edges of the sink like vices. The entire surface of her back was littered in various types of burns (ranging from second and third degree), black, crusty scabs, and painful-looking blisters. Even without seeming them, Willow could tell these marks continued to Boscha’s front side and down her beltline – places that were normally hidden from plain view. Willow knew Grudgby players regularly sustained injury, but this was _way_ more excessive than normal.

Boscha took a deep breath, glaring at her own reflection, and started talking like she was reciting a mantra:

“You are talented. You are a star. You may be hated, so long as you are feared. Most important of all, you are a winner.”

Boscha hanged her head, exhaling a deep breath. Her personal chant sounded…forced in Willow’s ears. Boscha looked up at the mirror again, and that’s when her eyes caught Willow staring in the corner of the reflection.

“What are you doing here?!” Boscha screamed, spinning around while covering herself. Her front was covered in marks like Willow suspected; Skara sounded like she tripped in the stall.

“Um, uh…,” Willow sputtered most eloquently.

“ ** _GET OUT!!!_** ” Boscha screamed.

Willow didn’t need a fireball thrown at her head to get the point, but it certainly helped. The plant witch ran out of the bathroom like she was being chased by the Emperor’s Coven. She didn’t to say “hi” to Luz or Amity and just kept sprinting until she reached the Slimy Worm’s cabin. When she slammed the door behind her, her teammates were already finished getting changed for the day. All of them looked at Willow funny, which was understandable considering she was panting heavy and there was a tiny flicking flame dancing on her head.

“Whoa, Willow, you all right?” asked Emira, kindly snuffing out the flame with her fingers. “You look like you just saw a zebra.”

“Was it Boscha?” asked Amelia, frowning. “You know you shouldn’t bother her. It’s never going to end well.”

“Er…no…no, it’s just…,” Willow mumbled uncertainly. “It’s nothing. Everything’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Willow:** Well, what was I supposed to say? “Hey, everybody, I just saw Boscha and her whole body looked like it was made out of beast jerky!” That’s not something for me to share, even if I don’t like her. Still… (Touches her lip with a concerned frown) I can’t help wonder _why_ she looked like that….

* * *

“ ** _Attention, all contestants!_** ” Chris’s voice carried through the camp’s loudspeakers, making the witches perk up curiously. “ ** _Enough beauty sleep! Report to the Grudgby field in ten minutes and be prepared to bring it!_** ”

“There’s a Grudgby field?” Willow asked curiously; Emira just shrugged.

* * *

As it turned out, there was a Grudgby field on the big toe of the Foot. The whole area looked like it had been renovated recently, likely because the producers (or Chris) had only thought to add it recently. The Puking Slugs were already waiting on the sidelines by the time Willow and the Worms showed up. Boscha and Skara were the last to arrive; the former looked even more peeved than usual and the latter looked like she was about turn tail any moment. Willow wasn’t surprised that the triclops immediately zeroed in on her and marched up to the plant witch, fuming.

“Um, Boscha, about what happened – “ Willow started anxiously. She choked when Boscha suddenly grabbed her by the collar, pulling her close until they were nose-to-nose, the triclops gnashing her teeth.

“If you say a _word_ about what you saw, half-a-witch,” Boscha hissed lowly so that only Willow could hear, “I won’t just make _your_ life miserable. I’ll make all your friends and family’s live a living nightmare. You understand me?”

Willow didn’t trust herself to speak. It would’ve been fine if she just made threats towards her; she was tough enough to take on a bully like Boscha. But the triclops wasn’t just making empty threats this time. Her family was rich and powerful; they could easily destroy her dad’s lives if Boscha wished it. The plant witch just nodded weakly and Boscha shoved her away, walking to the end of the line with Skara.

“What was that about?” Lilith questioned Willow.

Luckily, Willow was spared any explanations when a sharp whistle carried across the field; Batthew visibly winced and covered his large ears. Everyone looked down as King walked by their feet, dressed in a black-and-white striped shirt with a whistle around his neck.

“Heed me, peasants!” King demanded dramatically. “Your king now judges you!”

“Aw, wook at his cute widdle outfit!” Luz squealed, hands on her cheeks and eyes sparkling with glee.

“It’s not cute!” King cried and stomped his little foot. “This is my kingly tunic of absolute authority! And combined with my shiny whistle blowy thingy of ultimate judgement, you are peons are under my control! Worship me, you pubescent fools! Worship - NYEH!”

A Grudgby ball flew out and smacked the demon dog in the face, knocking him flat on the ground and bounced back into Chris’s hands.

“Hah! Classic!” Chris chortled at King’s suffering. “Today’s challenge is a nice, gory game of Grudgby – “

“Don’t you mean friendly?” asked Gus, concerned.

“No, ‘cause that would be boring,” Chris answered like it was obvious. “I know most of you have already played or seen a game of Grudgby, but let’s go over the rules to our human viewers on Earth. Grudgby, just like it sounds, is a magic version of the famous and _brutal_ game of Earth rugby. The object of the game is to score points by getting the ball through the opposing team's goal.”

“Unless you catch that stupid Rusty Smidge that completely invalidates the whole game,” Luz grumble, crossing her arms with a pout. Naturally, Chris smacked her in the face with the ball. “ _OW! Mi cara!_ ”

“I’m talking here!” Chris snapped. “Anyway, all forms of magic are acceptable in this game, unless it kills someone. As funny as it would be, death on cameras would _seriously_ kill our ratings.”

“…You’re a sick a twisted individual,” Amity commented.

“That’s what my fifth ex-wife said,” Chris chuckled. “We’ll be playing two halves with a halftime show in between. Whichever team scores the most points at the end of the final half wins invincibility. The losers will be sending one of their own down the dreaded Trail of Shame.”

“Question!” Willow shouted, shooting her hand up. “What if we someone catches the Rusty Smidge in the first half of the game?”

“Yeeeah, about that,” said Chris. “We had a focus group take surveys of our viewers, and a lot of them hate the idea of an all-powerful, game-winning mechanism that invalidates the larger team contributions.” He coughed loudly into his fist, which sounded a lot like ‘Rowling’. “So we threw it out to make the game a little more fair.”

“Hah! Eat it, Boscha!” Luz taunted the triclops, who quirked to of her eyebrows at the human.

“Uh, Luz, you do remember that she has Willow on her team, right?” Bo pointed out.

“Ooh, right,” Luz grimaced.

“You have one minute till game time, people!” Chris announced. “Slugs, you’re gonna need to sit somebody out for the first half.”

* * *

The Puking Slugs were on one side of the field, decked out in protective Grudgby uniforms and taking a knee. All eyes were on Amity, who was the obvious choice for team captain given her past Grudgby experience (and ignoring Eda’s complaints.)

“Okay, Slugs, now’s the time to get serious,” Amity said firmly. “The Slimy Worms have lost two challenges in a row, so you know they’re going to be working extra hard to catch up.

Cat made a series of hand signals that Bo translated.

“Cat’s right; the Slugs had Boscha, Skara, and Amelia on the same team,” she said. “They’re already on the Hexside Grudgby team, so they have a lot of practice working together. And Willow’s magic is super powerful.”

“True, but I don’t think Boscha and Willow are going to cooperate,” Amity proclaimed. “Did you see the way Boscha went off on Willow earlier? If we just focus on Boscha’s goons, we can outplay them.”

“So who’s gonna sit out during the first half?” asked Viney.

“Ed,” Amity answered.

“What? Why?” Edric sputtered.

“Because you’ll just give the ball up to Em,” said Amity bluntly.

“That…is one hundred percent true,” Edric admitted shamefully.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the field, the Slimy Worms naturally gathered around Boscha. The captain of the Grudgby team looked around at her teammates while completely overlooking Willow. The plant witch would’ve felt insulted, but the incident at the communal bathrooms kept her tongue silent.

“I’m going to give it to you straight: this team sucks,” said Boscha harshly.

“Way to rally the troops,” Emira said sarcastically.

“We’ve already lost two challenges in a row,” Boscha reminded them. “If this turns into a third, there will be hex to pay. So I better see you giving it two hundred percent out there.”

“Um, do I _have_ to play?” Gus asked meekly, pulling out a pair of little flags from who knows where. “I think I could contribute much better with a soul-lifting cheer and flag waving.”

“Sure, you can wave your little flags,” said Boscha. Gus smiled happily…until Boscha grabbed his face in an iron grip. “If you want to get voted off. I better see you moving your scrawny butt out there. Am I clear?”

“Crystal,” Gus answered timidly.

* * *

A minute later, the players were out on the field with the exception of Edric, who was sitting sadly on the sidelines. Amity and Boscha were at the center, glaring daggers at one another.

“I hope you put up a good fight, Boscha,” Amity taunted. “Otherwise, winning three in a row won’t be as satisfying.”

“Get off your high horse, Blight,” Boscha retorted with a malicious smile. “In case you’ve forgotten, _you’re_ the one who dropped out of the game because you didn’t have the stomach for it. _And_ you still lost the last game we played, regardless of the human’s whining…. Better hope I don’t break your girlfriend this time.”

“Bu – wha – I – she’s – she not my - ,” Amity sputtered, her entire face turning brick red.

“Both teams ready?!” Chris shouted. “First half starts now! Let’s get ready to Grudgby!”

The Grudgby ball popped out in the middle of the field. Both Boscha and Amity jumped at the same time, but Amity secretly summoned an abomination hand beneath her feet, giving her a boost into the air. The minty-haired witch snatched the ball out of the air, shooting over Boscha’s head and landing behind her. She managed to get two feet before King blew his whistle, nearly causing Amity to trip.

“Foul!” King declared.

“What?! What did I do?!” Amity yelled outrageously.

“You squashed my cupcake!” King cried.

“THAT WAS MONTHES AGO!” Amity screeched.

“Silence! Your King has spoken!” King yelled.

“Are you just gonna let him do that?” Amity asked Chris.

“He’s the ref,” said Chris, shrugging his shoulder with an amused laugh.

Amity stared, mouth agape, at the petty dog demon, leaving herself wide open for Skara to snatch the ball out of her hands.

The bard witch deftly swerved in between Viney and Eileen, causing the two to collide when they went to tackle her. Eda planted an ice glyph in Skara’s path, forming a glacial wall that blocked her off from the goal. When Eda went in for the tackle, Skara tossed the ball up and bicycle kicked it to Amelia. The green-haired witch summoned a vine to take the ball when Cat tackled her to the ground, tossing it across the field to Lilith. The former coven leader was quickly intercepted by Luz, the human placing her body between Lilith and the goal with her arms outstretched. Lilith pretended to go right and moved left, but Luz wasn’t fooled and effectively blocked her. Noticing Eda running up behind her, Lilith rolled the ball between Lilith’s legs, where it was quickly snatched up by a sprinting Boscha.

Batthew and Eileen were the only ones standing between her and the goal; both of them summoned a fist of stone and a lightning ball respectively. Boscha was quickly thinking of a way around them when a wave of vines rolled up beside her with none other than Willow riding on top.

“Quick, pass me the ball!” Willow offered.

But instead of showing gratitude, Boscha yelled, “I don’t need your help, half-a-witch!”

To everyone’s bewilderment, Boscha charged straight at Batthew and Eileen. The eyeball witch threw her lightning spell, but Boscha rolled underneath and shouldered Eileen to the ground. Batthew didn’t even get the chance to retaliate before Boscha used his face as a springboard, launching herself in the air and tossing the ball into the goal.

King blew his whistled and the Slimy Worm’s score went up by one.

“Slimy Worms get the first point!” Chris announced.

Boscha landed on her feet, brushing herself off as Willow stepped climbed down from her vines with a frown.

“I was wide open, you didn’t need to take such an unnecessary risk,” said Willow.

“And risk you screwing everything up,” Boscha spat harshly, walking away with a scoff. “Get real, half-a-witch.”

Willow curled her fists angrily, but restrained herself. Just focus on the game, she told herself.

King blew his whistle and the second round started.

Cat went up to snatched the ball for the Slugs this time, just so King wouldn’t come up with a petty excuse to use against them. The mute witch tossed the ball around her back, expertly passing it off to Bo, who hip bumped the ball sideways when Skara came running at her. It was flying toward Batthew when Emira suddenly jumped in and intercepted the pass. She started running toward the goal when Viney suddenly tackled her from the front, slamming her to the ground.

Emira huffed, getting the wind knocked out of her, and looked blearily up at Viney straddling her waist.

“You know,” Emira said with a would-be sauve tone. “If you wanted me that bad, you could’ve just asked.”

“Oh please,” said Viney with a smooth smile, casually taking the ball from Emira. “You can’t handle all this.”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Emira:** Girl’s got bark to go with her bite. I like that in a woman.

* * *

Viney started running toward the goal when she was blocked off by the combined efforts of Selene and Lilith. The dual-track witch quickly looked around and spotted Eileen waving her hands frantically. Viney tossed the ball to her and Eileen reached out to grab it…and missed by several feet. The ball bounced pathetically on the ground at the cyclops’s feet.

“Eileen, take the ball and run!” Amity shouted.

Eileen replied with a thumbs up and bent down to grab the ball…but instead grabbed the air above it. Eileen looked visibly confused. She tried grabbing it again, but her hands old snatched empty space. The entire field stopped to watch the stupefying display of Eileen trying and failing to pick up the ball for a solid minute.

Gus walked up to Eileen. The two of them stared at one another. Then the shorter witch nonchalantly picks the ball up and runs away with it, shouting, “I got it! I got the ball!”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Luz:** You’d think having a gigantic eye would give you good depth perception.

* * *

“I got the ball!” Gus cheered. “I got the – “

“Yoink!” Eda said aloud, effortlessly swiping the ball and kept running. She swerved around Selene and dodged Boscha’s fireball, but when Lilith and Amelia came running at her with double plant magic, Eda quickly looked around and yelled, “Luz, heads up!”

Luz jumped up and snagged the ball out of the air, but when she landed on her feet, Skara, Willow, and Emira charged her from all sides. Luckily, the crafty human had prepared ahead of time and whipped out an ice glyph. She slapped it down and a diagonal pillar of ice ripped out of the ground, knocking the Slimy Worm players on their backs while launching Luz into the air. The Latina soared through the air over the heads of the opposing team and threw the ball in between the posts, scoring a goal for the Puking Slugs.

“The Puking Slugs tie it up!” Chris announced over King’s whistle. He winced as Luz faceplanted the ground, hard. “Ooh. Walk it off, kid!”

“Ugh, you guys are all idiots!” Boscha sneered at her teammates.

“Hey, they got past you, too,” Gus pointed out. He shrank under the triclops’s glare. “And I mean that in the nicest way…ma’am?”

“It’s only point each,” said Willow, calmly diffusing the situation. “Let’s work together to – “

“Here’s an idea?” Boscha hissed savagely. “How ‘bout you and the half-pint loser just stay out of the way and leave this to _real_ witches. And if we lose, we can always vote off one of you idiots. Not like we’ll be losing anything valuable.”

Willow had come dangerously close to knocking Boscha’s head for that comment as the triclops turned her back on them. Emira, with all her patience, grabbed Willow’s wrist before she could do something she might regret…or at least would hurt the Worm’s chances of winning.

King blew his whistle again and the next match was underway.

Lilith had snagged the ball at the start, but Eda, being the devious gremlin that she was, planted an ice glyph underneath her sister’s feet. The former coven leader slipped on the patch of ice, unconsciously throwing the ball away. Cat was quick to recover it and rolled underneath Skara’s outstretched arms, making a mad dash for the goal. Selene moved to intercept when Batthew jumped in between them, getting tackled by the moon-faced witch while Cat deftly spun around them.

The only person left in Cat’s path was Gus. The smallest witch waved his finger and fabricated an army of copies forming a wall in front of the goal post…. But Cat was undeterred. When it became apparent that the mute girl wasn’t going to stop, the Gus clones panicked and dropped to the ground, curling up into fetal positions. Cat ran through the Gus clones, dispelling the illusion, and effortlessly launched the ball through the posts, signaled by the tweet of King’s whistle

Skara approached Gus and looked down at him curiously.

“What’re you doing?” she asked.

“It’s my rock position – it keeps me safe,” Gus answered.

Boscha ran a hand down her face, growling.

Ten of the first half’s forty minutes had been taken up with the Puking Slugs leading two to one. King blew his whistle as the next Grudgby ball was released.

Amelia snagged the ball and immediately passed it to Skara, who bounced it between Eda’s legs to Lilith. The former coven leader faked left and swerved right around Bo, only to be tackled from the side by Amity’s abomination. The ball rolled across the field, stopping at Eileen’s feet. The cyclops bent down to grab the ball…and once again missed it by a foot. The one-eyed witch let out a muffled whine as she flailed her hands about to reach for the ball that was somehow farther than she thought. Boscha wasted no time shoulder checking Eileen and snatched up the ball herself.

“Thanks, loser!” Boscha taunted harshly. Eileen sobbed quietly, dripping salty water blobs from her eye.

Boscha made it to the midfield line before Bo and Cat stepped in her way, blocking her path. The triclops hissed, holding the ball close to her chest as she looked around for someone to pass to. Skara, Amelia, and Selene were all being covered by one of the Slugs, but Gus was completely unguarded halfway to the goal. He was literally flagging down Boscha to pass him the ball, but Boscha visibly hesitated.

“What the hex are you waiting for?!” Emira shouted from behind. “Pass it already!”

Boscha gritted her teeth, pulled her hand back…then bounced the ball between Bo’s legs. The triclops shoved her way between the pair and snatched up the ball again, aiming to sprint the entire length of the field, when she suddenly found herself being lifted by the back of her uniform. Viney lifted the pink-haired witch over her head and slammed her into the ground, knocking the wind out of Boscha. While the triclops was disoriented, Viney snatched up the ball and tossed it to Batthew, who passed it over to Luz, who threw the ball up for Eda to make an easy shot into the goal.

“That’s three-to-one in favor of the Slugs!” Chris announced over King’s whistle. “Worms, pick up the slack! You’re embarrassing yourselves! More than usual!”

Back on the field, Boscha was reorienting herself as she stood up when Lilith came marching up to her with a furious scowl.

“What the hex was that?!” Lilith snapped. “It was a straight shot to the goal! All you had to do was pass the ball!”

“Don’t tell me what to do, loser!” Boscha growled, forcefully shoving the bushy haired (fake) teen away. “ _I’m_ the Grudgby captain! You don’t don’t tell me what to do!” She shoulder checked Lilith before walking off. “Skara! Amelia! Selene! Show some effort out there!”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Gus:** Unfortunately, it didn’t get any better after that. Everyone else was willing to work as a team, but Boscha didn’t trust anyone that wasn’t one of her followers.

**_BZZT_ **

**Lilith:** The Boscha girl is every bit as good as I was in my prime, but she fails to understand the value of teamwork. She hogs the ball and refuses to pass it to certain members of our team. Edalyn’s team picked up on that.

**_BZZT_ **

**Selene:** We actually tried to keep the ball _away_ from Boscha as much as possible, but that just made her angrier. And we couldn’t just _not_ pass it to her. She’s the best player on the field, next to Amity. Our team was a mess and th Slugs demolished us in the first half.

* * *

King blew his whistle when as the timer on the scoreboard reached forty minutes, right before Lilith and Willow could score another point for the Worms. When the contestants examined the final scores, the Puking Slugs cheered while the Slimy Worms groaned in anguish; Boscha actually roared like an angry Slitherbeast while kicking the ground.

“First half’s over and the Puking Slugs are leading twenty-two to sixteen!” Chris announced, raising another celebration from the Slugs. “Worms, you better start making a come back or you’re adding another ‘L’ to your streak.”

“Ugh! I can’t believe we’re going to lose _another_ challenge because of you idiots!” Boscha shouted at her teammates.

“Hey, we’re all giving it our all out there!” Emira snapped, leering at the triclops. “You’re the only one who’s not being a team player.”

“Maybe that’s because you’re all a bunch of pathetic losers!” Boscha growled, pointing at each individual member. “The midget is a wuss that curls up at the sign of trouble! Skara keeps making goo-goo eyes at bat-face! You keep getting flirting with that Viney chick! And Half-A-Witch – “

“Has been open a dozen times and could’ve scored if you had just passed me the ball!” Willow retorted viciously.

“I’m the one carrying this team!” Boscha yelled.

“You’re the one holding it back!” Lilith shouted.

“Ugh, I can’t deal with you losers!” Boscha groaned, throwing her hands up aggressively. She walked away, heading into the forest. “I’m going for a walk!”

When Boscha was out of sight, Lilith exhaled an aggravated sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“Someone should go after her before she does something stupid,” she groaned.

“Too late for that,” Emira, mumbled, crossing her arms.

“I’ll go look for her,” Skara volunteered.

“No, I will,” Willow offered, scowling at the tree line. “Maybe I can knock some sense into that thick skull of hers.”

“Heh, now _that’s_ what I call drama,” Chris cackled delightfully as Willow marched into the forest. “While the Slimy Worms are hashing it out, please enjoy the halftime show provided by yours truly. Presenting…the Chrisettes!”

* * *

Willow stalked through the tree, grumbling various obscenities under her breath. Why did Boscha always have to make thing unnecessarily difficult. It’s like she _enjoyed_ making everyone hate her. If that was the case, she was doing an excellent job at it. Willow had no doubt that if they went through another vote, everyone – even Boscha’s own goons – would kick her out in a heartbeat. Maybe it was better if they just forfeited the match, Willow mused….

Willow kept walking for another minute until she located her target. The pink-haired witch was leaning against a tree with her back to Willow, drenching her head with a water bottle she must have picked up; steam rose from her skull like she had just snuffed out a campfire. Boscha dropped the water bottle on the ground and pressed her forehead against the trunk, exhaling a deep and surprisingly mournful breath. Willow stood there, watching, as the triclops started talking to herself.

“You are talented. You are a star. You may be hated, so long as you are feared. Most important of all…you are a winner…. You are a winner…you have to be, no matter what.”

Willow thought her ears might have been playing tricks on her because Boscha actually sounded…sad. Heartbroken, even. Willow frowned.

She waited a moment before clearing her throat. Boscha immediately snapped up, spinning around wildly, then glared at Willow with blatant disdain.

“What do you want, Half-a-Witch?” she spat.

“What _we_ want is for you to get over yourself and start acting like a team player,” said Willow, crossing her arms firmly. She wasn’t having any of Boscha’s crap anymore. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re way behind on points. If you don’t change your attitude ion the next half – “

“What makes you think I’m the problem?” Boscha scoffed. “It’s not my fault those losers can’t keep up.”

“Are you serious right now!” Willow gapped. “The only reason we’re behind is because of you – “

“Whatever,” Boscha brushed off, rolling her eyes. She started walking away. “Let’s just get this over – “

“Oh, hex no!” Willow howled, grabbing Boscha’s arm roughly that the Triclops winced. “You don’t get to be a jerk and walk away! That’s not going to fly anymore! If you don’t get your act together, we’re going to _lose!_ And I promise, you’ll be the one who’ll….”

But Willow’s rage slowly died out when she realized Boscha hadn’t fought back. In a moment of clarity, the plant witch realized that Boscha had completely tensed up in Willow’s grip. No, she wasn’t tensing, Willow realized. She was bracing herself. Like she was expecting Willow to hit her. The incident in the bathrooms suddenly came to the forefront of her mind. Combined that with Boscha’s reaction, it didn’t paint a pretty picture….

Willow took a deep, calmly breath and let go of Boscha’s arm; the triclops visibly relaxed.

“Look, we don’t have to like each other,” said Willow coolly. “But we _do_ have to work together. And if you want to _win,_ you need to be willing to work with us…. Because if you don’t everyone’s totally gonna vote you off. Got it?”

Boscha looked away from her, arms crossed and frowning. Willow could already see the wheels turning in Boscha’s brain and thankfully came to the correct conclusion when the triclops huffed and turned her chin up.

“Ugh, fine, but only because you’re so desperate,” said Boscha condescendingly.

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Willow:** Eh, I’ll take what I can get.

* * *

Willow and Boscha walked back to the Grudgby field just as the halftime show ended. The pair stopped and stared, horrified, as a troupe of showgirls wear Chris masks marched off the field. If the two of them were disturbed, it was nothing compared to how their teammates were. The Puking Slugs and the Slimy Worms looked they had their souls sucked out of their bodies, silently pleading for someone to put them out of their misery.

“What happened to you guys?” asked Boscha.

“Too…terrifying…,” Emira gasped weakly, shivering and holding herself. “Can’t…put…into words….”

“All right, take the field, you acne-covered freaks!” Chris announced. King blew his whistle, snapping everyone out of their stupor. “The second half starts in one minute!”

“Okay, we should stick to the same strategy as the last half,” Amity instructed to her teammates. “Boscha’s gonna hog the ball and only pass it to her flunkies, so stick close to them and snag the ball at the first chance. Ed, you’re sitting out this half, too.”

“What? But I sat out during the last half!” Edric complained. “Why can’t you make Eileen sit out?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you…,” Amity said slowly. “No, that a lie. It’s totally because I can’t trust you.”

“We can work around Eileen’s bad eyesight,” Viney offered, “but we can’t afford having that sister of yours string you along when we’re so close to winning. Sorry, but it’s for the good of the team.”

“Aww…,” Ed whined, reluctantly taking the bench…again.

“Slugs, Worms, time to get down and dirty!” said Chris. “The last half of the Total Drama Grudgby match starts…NOW!”

King tweeted his whistle and the Grudgby ball flew out of the centerfield. Boscha and Cat jumped up for it at the same time, but the Triclops kicked off her opponent’s stomach to boost herself up while shoving Cat to the ground. Luz and Batthew were already on her when Boscha landed and jumped back out of their reach. Her three eyes scanned the field quickly. As predicted, Amelia, Skara, and Selene were covered by two Slugs each, making it impossible to pass it to them. But Lilith was completely wide open when a clear path around the side.

“Come on, over here, I’m open!” Lilith shouted, flailing her hands.

Boscha grimaced and started turning away…but was actually faking Luz out before sending a clean throw to Lilith. The former coven leader looked just as surprised as the Slugs when the ball landed in her hands, almost like she was imagining it –

“Don’t just stand there! Run, you idiot!” Boscha screamed.

Lilith snapped out of her stupor and quickly turned on her heels. She swept around the side of the field, maintaining a few paces ahead of the Puking Slugs chasing her, and effortlessly put the ball between the posts. King blew his whistle, the Slimy Worms cheered, and their score went up by one point.

“First point of the second half goes to the Slimy Worms!” said Chris. “Could this be the beginning of a killer comeback?”

“All right, we scored the first point!” Skara cheered as the Worms gathered up.

“See what happens when you actually work like a team?” Willow said to Boscha with a smug grin.

“Don’t start celebrating just yet,” Boscha said seriously. “We’re still behind by five point. If we wanna catch up, we need to start thinking outside the box. Midget – “

“My name is Gus,” Gus replied indignantly.

“Whatever,” said Boscha uncaringly. “You can use illusion magic, right? Here’s what I need you to do….”

Meanwhile, over with the Puking Slugs….

“Hey, Blight, they scored on us in the first two minutes,” Eda pointed out grumpily. “What gives? I thought you said three-eyes was too selfish to share.”

“She was,” said Amity, frowning. “Maybe someone finally talked some sense into her. We can’t rely on the same strategy to work out if the Worms are playing by a different game.”

“Then I guess there’s nothing left to do, but give it our best!” Luz said optimistically. “C’mon, Slugs, we can do this!”

The players took their positions on the field again as King blew his whistle, releasing the ball for the next match

Though Eda and Lilith both went up for the ball, Willow snagged it out of the air with one of her vines and threw it to Boscha. The triclops took off sprinting at the same time Gus weaved a magic circle. In seconds, there was a small army of Boscha’s charging across the field. Batthew, Bo, and Eileen instinctively jumped out of the way, their natural fear of Boscha amplified. Viney, Luz, Cat, and Eda tried tackling the clones, only to fall flat on their faces. Amity tried summoning as many abomination fists as she could, but the army of triclops gracefully danced around them with minimal effort. So when all of the Boscha clones threw their Grudgby balls at the same time, no one could tell which one was real, only that the Worms had scored a point.

“No bad,” Chris complimented. “Another point for the Worms!”

“It’s okay, everyone, it’s fine!” Amity reassured her team. “We can still win this!”

When the next ball was released, Cat was the one who grabbed it for the Puking Slugs and tossed it back to Amity. The mint-haired witch tucked the ball under her arm and started running –

“Amity!” Luz called out from the side, waving her arms energetically. “Amity, pass it over here! Quick! Quick!”

Because she had so much confidence in the Latina (and because she was a gay disaster for her), Amity didn’t even think twice about tossing the ball to Luz…. Which explained why she looked so perplexed when she ran the opposite way. The Puking Slugs watched dumbfoundedly as their human teammate ran by and nonchalantly tossed the ball into their own goal with a proud grin. King blew his whistle and the Slimy Worms steadily closed the gap in the scores.

“Hey, kid, what’s the big idea?” asked Eda, walking up to the human bewildered. “You’re supposed to score on _those_ chumps, not our chumps. What’s the matter with ya? You get infected with brain worms again – “

“Uh, Eda?”

The owl teen felt someone tapping on her shoulder and looked around. Her eyes blew wide when she saw Luz standing behind her with a sheepish grin. She turned back to the other Luz, open-mouthed, as the girl waved a magic circle with her finger and revealed herself to be none other than Emira. Eda blinked dimly, then face-palmed herself.

“I can’t believe I fell for the oldest con in the book,” she mumbled, disappointed in herself.

“Okay, _now_ we have a game!” said Chris excitedly. “Another point for the Worms!”

“Ready for another humiliating defeat, Blight?” Boscha hissed to Amity as the pair met at the centerfield line.

“Don’t count your Slitherbeasts before they hatch,” said Amity, glaring.

King blew his whistle and the next round began –

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Amity:** I don’t know how they did it, but the Worms managed to turn the whole game around. Once Boscha started working with her team, they were practically unstoppable. We scored a few goals ourselves, but the Worms were practically flying off the board.

**_BZZT_ **

**Eda:** The kids were so clever, it almost made me feel jealous. Gus and that Blight girl were using illusion spells left and right. We spent most of the half chasing after our own tails.

**_BZZT_ **

**Luz:** I already knew Boscha was tough from our last Grugdby match, but now she was working together with Willow. _Working – together!_ Did I get sucked into another dimension…again? Nothing makes sense any more….

* * *

“All right, contestants, two-minute warning!” Chris announced, tossing the Grudgby ball up and down. “Score is tied twenty-eight points each! Whoever scores the next goal, wins!”

“All right, team, bring it in,” Boscha called the Slimy Worms together, everyone taking a knee. “Okay, we managed to make up for that crappy first half and tie it all up – “

“Once you started playing nice,” Skara pointed out smugly.

“Save it,” Boscha grimaced. “But the Slugs are matching our pace, no doubt thanks to Amity. There are only two minutes left, so we need to make a big play. So, anyone got any ideas.”

“Um…maybe,” Willow said uncertainly. “I…we could do the Thorn Vault. That’s how Luz and I won against Boscha – “

“Except you didn’t,” Boscha retorted immediately.

“Yes, yes, Rusty Smidge and all that,” Willow groaned, rolling her eyes. “The point is, it’s a strong play that’s guaranteed to score.”

“And it’s also incredibly dangerous,” Amelia stated. “If done wrong, someone could get hurt. Remember the championship against Glandus High? Maybe we should – “

“No, it’s a good play,” said Boscha, making the entire team do a double-take. “It’s been proven to work. I think winning the challenge is worth the risk of injury.”

“And who is going to partake in this insane strategy?” questioned Lilith.

“Willow and I will perform the Thorn Vault,” Boscha declared. “The rest of you keep the Slugs off of us.”

“Did you just call me – “ Willow started until King’s whistle cut her off.

“C’mon, people, get your hustle on!” Chris yelled impatiently. “I have a massage after this!”

The players gathered in their positions on the field, tensions running high as the final minutes of the game were starting to wind down. Willow looked back at Boscha, who had taken position behind her, and the three-eyed witch nodded in affirmation. They were really doing this. More importantly, Boscha was putting her trust in Willow. Everything came down to this final play….

After what seemed like an eternity, King blew his whistle and the Grudgby ball was released.

Lilith managed to snag the ball out of the air away from Viney’s reach and thew it back before she was tackled to the ground by Eda. The ball was handed back to Skara, who tossed it to Amelia, who passed it off to Emira, before throwing it back to Willow; each Worm was taken out of commission one after the other.

Willow grabbed the ball and slammed her hand into the ground, calling forth her plant magic. Boscha sprinted toward at the plant witch while being aware that Luz and Amity were charging from the opposite side at dangerous speeds. Willow held the ball out and Boscha snatched it out of her hands as the bespectacled witch summoned a think tendril of vines from the ground, knocking Luz and Amity on their backs.

Boscha never realized how difficult it was to run along a moving plant – she had to give Willow credit for performing the stunt in their last match – but she managed to hold her balance while avoiding the exposed thorns below her feet. The Worms and Slugs stared in awe as Boscha ran the length of the vine over their heads toward the goal post. At the last second, Boscha jumped off and dunked the ball through the hole before grabbing the bar, to stop herself from falling.

Boscha hanged there for a long moment with an expression like she couldn’t believe what she just did.

And not a moment too soon, the timer reached the eightieth minute and King blew his whistle, signaling the end of the game.

“The Slimy Worms win! _The Slimy Worms win!!_ ” Chris screamed enthusiastically, overtaken by the excitement as the Worms were. He took a moment to collect himself and turned back to the downtrodden Slugs. “Puking Slugs, I’ll see _you_ at the Boneyard Ceremony.”

“I can’t believe we lost to _Boscha_ ,” Amity spat in disbelief. “This is so messed up.”

“Hey, think of it this way,” Luz said optimistically. “We didn’t lose to Boscha, we lost to _all_ the Worms.”

“…That doesn’t make me feel better,” Amity grumbled.

Once she overcame her shock, Boscha let go of the goalpost and allowed herself to be caught by her teammates. The Slimy Worms gently returned the triclops to her feet where she was immediately pulled into a jubilant hug by Skara.

“We won!” Skara cried happily. “I can’t believe we won!”

“Was there any doubt?” Boscha scoffed, but gently patted her best friend on the back.

“This is such a beautiful moment!” said Gus, tearing up dramatically. “GROUP HU – “

But the tender moment was effectively killed when Boscha roughly shoved Gus to the ground when he went in for the hug. Willow quickly helped him to his feet, but the Slimy Worms had already physically divided between Boscha’s group and the combination of Willow, Gus, Lilith, and Emira. The triclops sneered.

“Don’t think this changes anything,” Boscha said rudely, crossing her arms; her gang mimicked the motion. “We might’ve worked together, but that doesn’t make us friends. Are you’re all still a bunch o’ losers. C’mon, girls,” She gestured for her groupie to follow and they walked off. “Let’s get out of here before Willow’s geek squad invite us to make to make flower crowns.”

“I like flower crowns,” said Amelia. Boscha smacked her over the head. “OW!”

* * *

**CONFESSIONALS**

**Willow:** Boscha’s still rude and mean as always…but she did call me Willow instead of Half-a-Witch. That’s progress, I guess. You know what they say, the Emperor’s Coven wasn’t built in a day.

* * *

The night had fallen over the Foot, which meant it was time for another Boneyard Ceremony. The Puking Slugs were still largely uncomfortable in their seating arrangements because it had been a long time since they had taken part in an elimination. As Chris appeared on the opposite side of the raging blue campfire, the Puking Slugs shifted nervously in their seats, anxiously wondering who would be the next to go.

“Puking Slugs, welcome back,” Chris greeted pleasantly. “It’s been a while. You all put in a great effort out there today, but it looks like that wasn’t enough to win a third consecutive time. You’re votes have been tallied and one of you is going home tonight. When I call your came, please come up and collect your immunity skull…. Amity.”

“Thank you, Titan,” Amity breathed, rising from her seat and walking over to collect her skull.

“Cat…”

The mute witch wiped the nervous sweat from her brow and stood up.

“Viney…”

The dual-track witch calmly stood up and walked around to take her prize.

“Edric. Luz. Eda. Bo.”

And then there were two. Eileen’s bulging eyes curved sideways to Batthew, and Batthew turned his head sightlessly toward Eileen, both of them visibly nervous in differing ways.

“Both of you really sucked out there today,” said Chris unapologetically. “But one of you sucked the most, which is why this will be the last night you spend here at the Foot. The final immunity skull goes to…Batthew.”

“Aw, hex yeah, bro! Whoo!” Batthew cheered. He jumped out of his seat, pumping his fists into the air, and ran over to join his teammates. That left Eileen all alone, staring sadly down at the ground.

“Eileen, I’m gonna be honest with you; I’m glad you’re leaving,” Chris said rudely. “Seriously, you give me the jeebies every time I look at you. Please, for the love of all the is holy, just go already.”

The cyclops hand her head, dripping massive blobs of salty tears as she dragged her feet down the Trail of Shame, fading away into the darkness of the forest….

* * *

While the voting was taking place, Boscha and Skara found themselves alone in the communal bathrooms. The rest of the Slimy Worms had already washed themselves of all the dirt and sweat they had accumulated during the Grudgby match. Boscha, in her opinion, had been nice enough to give them plenty of time to themselves before kicking them out.

The triclops once again found herself standing in front of the mirror, topless, while Skara was in the shower. Boscha wiped the foggy from the mirror and stared at her own reflection. Where there had once been strength and determination, there was now only cold emptiness behind those eyes.

“You know, Willow isn’t as bad as you think she is,” Skara commented over the running water.

“Uh-huh,” Boscha muttered listlessly. Skara really was the only person she would let get away talking about such ridiculous things.

“If you gave her a chance, you’d see she’s pretty cool,” Skara added.

“Yeah, well, don’t hold your breath,” Boscha retorted halfheartedly. Her best friend fell silent after that, the only noise coming from the showerhead. Boscha splashed her face with cold water and looked at her reflection again, her eyes just as lifeless. “…You are talented. You are a star. You may be hated, so long as you are feared. Most important of all…you are a winner….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I put a lot more focus on the drama than the actual challenge, but that’s really what everyone is here for, right?


End file.
